Love and Phoenix Tears
by alliead
Summary: "I HATE you, James Potter!" She snatched the ruined photo from James' grasp, and for a split of a moment, she nearly hit him. James stood stock still, shocked into motionlessness as she stormed out of the Head's Dorms. Shocked at what he'd just done. "I'm sorry," he whispered, looking down into his now empty palms. What he had wanted to say was 'I love you,' but she was gone.
1. Chapter 1

Lily kissed her mum goodbye quickly before stumbling off toward the Hogwarts Express, struggling to balance her many belongings while trying not to break her concentration on the spell that was holding up her large trunk behind her. This summer had been quite miserable with Petunia's new bloody boyfriend always traipsing around the house and the increasing animosity between the two of them. If that wasn't enough, her father had taken up a new job that involved traveling to Australia for absurd amounts of time; she'd hardly seen him for a week all summer. To top it all off, it seemed that Severus had finally given up all attempts of making amends with her.

She wasn't so sure of why that last thing bothered her so much. She had made the decision their fifth year when he'd gone too far. He was becoming somebody that she loathed. He wasn't her friend Sev anymore, the one who used to play with her when she was little, the one who cried about his parents. He was a dirty, hateful prat who enjoyed inflicting pain on others. However, he still would come to her house every so often, asked her parents if she was around, even owled her birthday gifts – at least up until a few months ago. This past summer, she hadn't heard a single word from him. She'd even casually walked past Spinner's End on a few occasions to see if he even still lived there, but she couldn't tell.

 _Not that I even give a rat's arse about the toe-rag,_ she reminded herself sternly, willing it to be true as she walked through the train, searching for her best friend, Mary Macdonald. She wanted to see where her friend was sitting before she had to go off to the Prefect meeting. Lily's stomach gave a nervous flutter as she remembered her new position: Head Girl. She'd wanted this her entire Hogwarts tenure, but now that it was imminent she was nervous about what to do, and about how the dynamic would be among all of the house's prefects.

 _What if they don't want to listen to me? What if the Head Boy doesn't like me? I wonder who he is - hopefully Remus._ Several unpleasant scenarios flashed through her mind as she tried to calm her nerves and focus on finding the correct cabin. Finally, she spotted Mary's curly dark mass of hair, quickly followed by her freckled, blue-eyed face.

xxx

James was already celebrating raucously when Remus spotted him, Sirius and Peter holed up in their seats upon the Hogwarts Express. He smiled widely at the sight of his friends, plucky as ever despite the world around them. Remus had been so excited to get back to Hogwarts and see his friends regularly again. The summer had gone along fine enough, but his transformations had been lonely and particularly rough and though they visited one another often, he hadn't seen any of his best mates in a few weeks as he and his family had gone off on holiday to France.

"What are you three going on about?" He asked, plopping his bags down on the ground and grinning widely at his friends, who looked rather ridiculous flouncing around giddily.

"Moony!" He wasn't sure who yelled out first but in a moment he was attacked quite barbariously by a certain ecstatic, messy-haired wizard. James hugged his friend so tightly for a moment he could have sworn the boy broke his rib, but quickly let go.

"I got Head Boy!" James managed, still grinning goofily. "Can you believe it, Moony? Me? James bloody Potter." He shook his head disbelievingly at this miracle.

"Are you yanking my wand?" Remus managed a smile for his friend to show he was joking, as he noticed a shockingly shining Head Boy badge gleaming on James' chest. Remus was happy for him. Really. But he still couldn't help but feel a pang of sorrow. Most people would feel something closer to jealousy in the same situation; he knew he deserved to be Head Boy more than anyone, especially more than his delinquent friend. _But I can'_ t, he told himself, furious at himself for feeling jealousy toward one of his best mates, if only for a moment.

"I'm happy for you, Prongs." He meant it, and gave the other boy a genuine smile and a small, friendly punch on the shoulder, "That's incredible!"

xxx

Lily took a deep breath, willing her hands to stop wringing through her robes anxiously. _I can do this_ , she repeated for the umpteenth time. She'd been thinking that very sentence over and over again as a mantra since she left her friends. She took one final deep breath, raised her chin a fraction, and pushed open the door.

There were several unfamiliar faces, as well as a few she recognized from the back or side of their heads. None of them were facing her, though. There was someone who seemed to be monopolizing all of the attention. He was a bit taller than most of the others, and had messy dark hair...

" _Potter_?" Lily gasped in a cold fury. Her eyebrows snapped together, "What are you _doing_ -" the question died on her lips as she noticed the gleaming badge on his chest. This was impossible. She felt angry tears springing to her eyes and took a deep calming breath.

"Evans!" Potter looked disgustingly cheerful as he walked over to her, grin spreading across his face. "Fancy seeing you here. Head Girl, eh? Can you believe they made me Head Boy? Out of everyone they could have chosen..."

"No." Lily managed shakily. She blinked. "I can't."

James' face fell minutely. "Evans," He said in an undertone, coming uncomfortably close to her. "Just work with me, just for the meeting... _please._ " Lily took a step backwards, astounded by the pleading note in his voice. It was a bizarre thing coming from Potter. Potter, who had spent the past six years teasing and taunting the students and vexing the staff of the very school in which he now somehow held authority.

"Fine," she managed, not sure what he was playing at. The genuinely pleading tone disarmed her, even disturbed her. She was used to hot-headed, inconsiderate James. This behavior, though, was something she was unsure of how to handle with him. She took a deep breath, and tried to force her facial expression into something neutral. She could do this. She was the mature one of the pair, right?

xxx

Lily collapsed onto her four-poster bed, having just finished putting away all of her belongings. She let out a sigh, staring at the ceiling.

"I mean, I love Professor Dumbledore, but how could he possibly put me and Potter as Head Girl and Boy? Is this some sort of joke?"

Mary shook her head and shrugged. She'd been listening to this kind of ranting since Lily had returned from her meeting. She could probably write a novel on Potter's every movement and word, from everything Lily had said.

"I dunno, Lils. Maybe Potter's grown up a bit. I mean, he's of age, some boys just take a little longer to mature," she said mildly, throwing a pair of socks into her drawer. "Besides, you should give him a chance, he's not _that_ horrible-"

Lily interrupted her friend with a scoff, "Mary! Whose side are you on, anyway?" She picked up her pillow and threw it in the general direction of her friend, not bothering to look at her target.

"You missed." Mary giggled, throwing the pillow back at Lily so that it landed right on her head.

"Hey!" Lily couldn't help but laugh herself, and soon they were in an all-out pillow fight

xxx

"What's wrong, mate? You're acting all mopey." Sirius flung himself onto James' bed, sending him flying a few centimeters in the air.

"Lily hates me," James moaned, falling onto his back so that he was staring up at the ceiling. He pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to ward off an impending headache.

"You're just realizing this _now_?" Sirius teased, standing up again. James said nothing, and Sirius sighed dramatically. "C'mon, Prongs; forget about her." He quickly changed his train of thought at the infuriated look James shot at him, "Let's think of a fantastic prank to start the year... like really all out. That is, if you're still up for it, being the all-important Head Boy and all."

James sat up again and looked ready to retort, but he let out a sigh and gave his friend a halfhearted, lop-sided grin; it was a start. "Abso-bloody-lutely."


	2. Starting with a Bang!

Lily was startled awake by a loud, whiplike crack. She groggily opened one bleary green eye. Another loud noise. Her eyes snapped open quickly now, and she threw her blankets off.

 _"Mary?"_ she whispered, emerald eyes blinking and squinting as the dark room came slowly into focus, "You awake? D'you hear that?" There was a long pause, then another sound - this time it was more like several popping sounds. It sounded like...

She grabbed her wand off her nightstand and floated across the room. She was just about to touch the doorknob when there was another loud crack. She jumped, stumbling backwards a step, before promptly rolling her eyes at her own jitteriness. She made for the doorknob again, this time turning it quickly and pulling it open

 _CRACK._

Lily jumped back once more, before coming to her senses. Now that the door was open the noise was much, much louder.

"Lily? What the bloody hell was- _WHOA_ , fireworks!" Mary apparently had woken up in the time that it had taken Lily to get to the door, and was now sliding past Lily in order to poke her head out into the hallway and get a better look. By this point, they were not the only ones awake. It seemed that every Gryffindor girl was up. Alice Crabbe and Heather Davis joined Lily and Mary at the door frame. Angela White, however, remained in her bed, sleeping soundly. Mary always said the girl could sleep through anything after she'd accidentally blown up a goblet she'd been attempting to transfigure, only to look up and see Angela still asleep.

Most everyone seemed to find all of this very funny - neat, even. At least, everyone except Lily. She knew that there were only four Gryffindor boys capable of doing so much damage in their first night of school. And one of them was supposed to be the responsible Head Boy. She pushed past Mary and stormed down the hallway, not caring that she was still wearing her pink nightgown, or that she was brandishing her wand like some psychotic, frilly Barbie doll hellbent on vengeance.

She flew down the stairs into the common room, where the fireworks were going off in a frenzied display of colors, and in large, red and gold sparkling letters, it read 'Welcome back, Gryffindor!' But she was too irate to notice any of this as she headed toward the staircase leading to the boys' dormitories. If a boy attempted to go up the girls' staircase, he wouldn't make it very far before sliding down the stairs, though apparently the founders didn't find such precautions necessary in the boys' stairs. Perhaps that wasn't so good - Lily flew up the stairs, ignoring the scandalized looks of younger students and headed straight toward the seventh year boys' dormitories. She banged on the door twice, before shoving it open.

Frank Longbottom was the first to notice her, and he lunged into the bathroom, embarrassed at his scantily-clad figure. Tyler Johnson, who had been talking to Frank as he made his wild jump for the bathroom, looked around to see Lily, and blushed slightly through his dark skin. He was wearing gray underpants, white socks, and nothing else.

"Er, hello Lily?"

Lily suddenly felt her cheeks heat up as she realized how rash she was being. She just ran into the boys' dormitories, for Merlin's sake! She averted her gaze from the half-naked boy in front of her, looking around the room instead as she spoke.

"Er, hello Tyler... Where is - _BLACK_! _Where_ is Potter?" She had spotted Sirius Black, standing lazily near his drawer, holding a solitary grey sock in his hand, and - unfortunately for Lily, who was growing more embarrassed by the moment - also shirtless.

"Oh Lily dear, lovely to see you here, but isn't it a bit early for-"

"BLACK! Where is that big-headed prat, and why don't you put on a shirt, for Merlin's sake?" Sirius was quite a well-formed individual, and she didn't like that distraction while she was attempting to yell at him. She was thankful for her fury, however, which was returning quickly.

"Sorry sweetheart, but it was you who came up here while I was attempting- _innocently,_ if I may add! - to get dressed." He brandished his sock defensively. "But if you must know, he's down in the common room, admiring our handiwork with Remus. Now if you'll excuse me..." He shot Lily a charming grin, and then turned toward a lump in the bed to his other side. "OI! Wormtail, have you seen my other sock?"

xxx

"This was brilliant, Moony. Fantastic idea, the fireworks!" James ran a hand through his wild locks absently as he watched a firework chase a second-year boy across the common room before exploding near his left ear - that had been James' doing, the ones that chased people. Sirius particularly got a kick out of it.

"Thanks, Prongs. I thought it would be a good way to start off the year with a _bang_ ," He chuckled at his corny joke. "Uh-oh, Lily at ten o'clock," he muttered, gesturing across the room and quickly averting his eyes. James groaned, but Evans seemed to not notice them, as she flew up the stairs, looking irate.

"She must be spitting tacks," James snorted, wondering when she'd realize he wasn't up there. Remus nodded in silent agreement. They watched their lovely mini-prank with the same sort of expression a father might wear while watching his child ride a broom for the first time. Of course, this was nowhere near the first time. Indeed, James hardly even considered this a prank. It didn't involve dungbombs, fizzing whizbees or even stinkpellets, and nobody was screaming. It was more a decoration and celebration for their homecoming.

Soon enough, Evans came flying down the stairs, more furious than before, cheeks flush. She stopped about a meter in front of him, hands on hips, her wand gripped firmly in her right hand.

"What is _wrong_ with you, Potter!"

"Aw, Evans, you were playing so nice yesterday, what's got you now?"

"Use your loaf, Potter, look at this mess! You're supposed to be Head Boy!"

"Oh! Right, this. This, Evans, is what I call a celebration! Isn't it lovely - Are you going to hex me?" He sniggered, as Evans had raised her wand threateningly, shaking in fury.

"I- I'm telling Professor McGonagall. This is ridiculous." She took a deep breath, shot a glare at Remus for good measure, and then stalked back toward the girls' dormitories again. James rolled his eyes.

"Nice dress, Evans!" He called after her in a singsong voice as she broke into a run up the staircase.

xxx

"So what'd she say?" Mary asked, pushing her lunch around on her plate. Lily had just returned from a chat with McGonagall, and from the scandalized look that graced her delicate features, it seemed safe to guess that it didn't go quite as planned.

"She said it was a good idea. Harmless. Can you believe that? Is the entire school going absolutely mad?" She stabbed a piece of meat rather savagely, before popping it in her mouth. Mary shrugged, not sure if Lily had finished her diatribe. Usually her friend wasn't really in a state to listen to others when she was in one of these fits, and she'd learned that shrugging and nodding occasionally was the safest way to go.

"She said she'd talk to him, though," Lily finally admitted, grudgingly reassured by this fact, and then went silent again, eating with a fervor that she usually didn't have. Mary watched her friend, skeptical.

"That's not all you're sour about, is it?" she prodded, knowing she was heading in the right direction from the expression Lily gave her. She began, pulling her biscuit apart, wondering what could possibly be worse for Lily than McGonagall being in agreement with Potter. Lily was about to stuff another bite in her mouth, and Mary shot her a look. "C'mon Lils, tell me what she said to get you in such a state, how bad can it really be?"

Lily dropped her fork on her plate and washed down what was in her mouth with a sip of pumpkin juice. "She showed me the Head's dormitories - they're gorgeous, two rooms, a common room and a bathroom." She said, looking down at her plate.

"But?" Mary prodded, curious as to what could possibly be so horrible about having your own dormitories to yourself.

"She said that Potter and I have to learn to get along, if we want to keep our positions..." She sighed, "And thought it would be a brilliant idea to shove us into the same dormitories for the next three weeks." The last part of her sentence came out as an angry growl. "I'd rather live in a pit of lions, or a bull pen!" She snapped. She knew that she wouldn't be able to handle living in the Head's dormitories, with Potter. She'd kill him... or herself.

"Wait..." Mary said slowly, needing clarification of what she thought she'd just heard. "You have to stay in those dormitories, and Potter does, for the next _three weeks?_ "

Somewhere down at the other end of the table, Mary heard raucous laughter and excessive giddiness from a certain group of boys, and eyed Lily worriedly.

-xxx-

Hi! This is a story I have been working on for a while, now. I originally posted part of it a few years ago, but took it down to rework it. If you're reading it, please, please drop a review! I would absolutely love to hear any input and will reply to you all. Thanks for taking the time to read! I've never been so excited about a story I'm writing, so I hope you all enjoy it as well!


	3. Fine!

James finished stuffing his dresser full of his clothes, and flopped onto his new bed with a smile.

 _This could turn out great,_ he thought, gazing around the room. Though he would miss sharing a dormitory with his three lunatic friends and the other two boys in his year, it was sort of nice to have the privacy this offered. And of course the best part: Lily had to be around him for even more than just meetings for the next three weeks. He would show her that he'd changed, that he wasn't as bad as she thought he was.

He reached into his bag, and pulled out a small mirror. "Sirius!" He called, figuring his best mate was probably with Remus and Peter, planning their next prank. James, in an attempt to earn back his trust with McGonagall, and hopefully with Evans, decided to sit this one out.

He watched as the surface of the mirror went dark, then there was a shaky view of grass, and soon Sirius' grinning face.

"Oi Prongs, so how's your Head Boy suite? Anything good?"

James nodded, grinning as Remus poked his head into the picture, and Peter walked behind them and pushed his face into the top of the frame.

"Yeah, you've got to see it. I feel like a guest, not a student. Look here." James sat up from his bed and turned the mirror so that it was facing his new room. He turned it until they were able to see his dresser and large mirror, his red and gold bed, and the desk in the corner with a large, comfortable-looking chair pushed up to it.

"Wow Prongs, nice! Damn, If I'd have known what kind of special treatment Head Boy gets..."

James snorted, echoing the laughter on the other side of the mirror. The idea of Sirius Black as Head boy was laughable at best. Then again, one might have said the same for James Potter this time last year. Surely it would have been Remus who had gotten the position, if not for his 'furry little problem,' as James fancied calling it.

There was a loud crash, seemingly coming from the common room, and James turned toward the door. He couldn't see down the staircase, but it sounded a lot like Lily had arrived.

"Er, I think I've got to go now... I'll see you guys at dinner tonight." The mirror went black, and he shoved it back in his bag before rushing out of his room, taking the stairs two at a time. He arrived in his and Evans' shared common room, to see a certain red-haired someone kneeling on the floor, picking up several bits of parchment that had fallen out of her bag. James knelt down next to her, and picked up a few quills and a Defense Against the Dark Arts text book before Evans seemed to noticed she had company.

"You're here," She said bluntly. He nodded, not quite sure what to say to that without being on the receiving end of her fury again.

"Yeah, I am," He said finally, though it had been his first instinct to give her a sarcastic remark. He was grateful for his newfound sense of self control as he handed her the textbook and quills. She stuffed them into her bag and stood up.

"Thanks," she muttered reluctantly. She picked up her bag and started off toward her own dormitory. James remembered what McGonagall had mentioned earlier to him about school events. She had said that with the Wizarding World in such a chaotic state, she thought it would be a lovely idea for the school to have more dances and other social events, to keep the students' minds off of the war and to help unite the school. Other than being an all-around good idea, it was a perfect opportunity for James to get to talk to Lily more.

"Wait!" He shouted across the room. Lily stopped just before the stairs that led to her dormitory, but didn't turn around.

"What, Potter?" She asked shortly.

James felt a pang of annoyance in his stomach; here he was trying to go out of his way to be nice to her, and she couldn't even extend the same courtesy to him? _Of course,_ he reminded himself, _I have a lot to make up for._ He took a deep breath.

"I'm waiting," She reminded him, turning her head so that she was almost facing him.

"McGonagall said earlier that we should get together to organize some social events. And we have the next prefect meeting to arrange, too. Do you want to come down here after you get set up in your dormitory?" He asked, wondering if as much as his hopefulness was showing through in his tone as he felt.

To his disappointment, Lily shook her head, the light of the room glancing off her lovely red hair as it hit her shoulders. "I have loads of Charms homework. I haven't started that twenty-four inches of parchment on Confundus charms and I have to practice transfiguring a quill into a flower. I just don't have time tonight, Potter." She started up the stairs again, and James had to - literally - bite his tongue in order to keep from reminding her that the essay wasn't due for another week. After all, it was only the first day of classes.

"I could help you with the transfiguration!" He called up the stairs, still hopeful. He was top of the class in Transfiguration, and had been since their first year. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, though.

"I don't want your help, Potter!" She slammed the door, and James sat down heavily on the overstuffed couch. He pulled out his wand and several quills, transfiguring each one of them into a different colored flower.

xxx

Lily placed each of her belongings meticulously in their respective spots, managing to waste more than an hour rearranging and organizing her new dormitory, and finally relented to the notion that there wasn't another possible thing for her to mess with for the moment. She moved over to the desk, which was quite a pleasant surprise, and sat down. She pulled out her well-organized draft for her Charms essay which she had composed during her free period earlier, a quill, and a fresh piece of parchment. She only managed to write a few inches though when she realized with reluctance that she could not focus. She had written down the same sentence twice and then wrote a word in French by accident. She pushed the parchment aside, and delved back into her bag for another piece of parchment.

She stared at this piece for several moments, and then put her quill to it, writing quickly.

 _Dear Tuney,_

 _Hi, how are you doing? I'm really sorry that we've been drifting apart so much lately. I love you so much, and I miss how it used to be... I'm really the same person I was before all of this magic business. Remember when we'd play on the swings at that park? Anyway, I'm so happy for you and Vernon, and I'm glad you found someone who pays so much attention to you and loves you so much for the beautiful person you are. I hope you're doing well._

 _Love,_

 _Lily_

Lily read the letter three times over, and then folded it neatly. She reached in her trunk and pulled out a small wooden box. It was filled to the brim with letters, mostly to Petunia and Severus, but a few others. Placed neatly into a pocket in the top of the box, was a small muggle photograph. Lily placed her letter on the top of the pile in the box, and pulled out the photograph.

Lily remembered so clearly the day that photo had been taken. She and Petunia had been playing in the park, and Severus joined them. They played all afternoon. Petunia wasn't so crazy about Sev, but she loved her sister, and would occasionally tolerate him for Lily's sake. Their mum was just about to pick them up from the park, but that day she had brought her camera with her. Lily had clutched her sister round the waist and pulled Severus on her other side, squeezing them to her and smiling a wide, toothy grin. Petunia had one of those small smiles that an older sister couldn't help but manage while their little sister was so excited, and Sev even managed a small smile, though it appeared that he was attempting to cover his pale face with his long black hair. Lily smiled at the memory, wishing for the millionth time that she could just start over. Maybe if she spent more time with Sev he wouldn't have made those horrible decisions. Maybe if she acted more normal around Petunia, her sister wouldn't think she was so weird.

She sighed and closed the box of letters, sealing it with a charm before sticking it in the back of a drawer underneath her socks. She kept the photo on the desk, though, running her fingers lightly over each of their faces.

She was pulled out of her reverie at three quiet knocks at her door. Though the staircases weren't rigged in the Head's dormitories to turn into a slide, the doors would not open for anyone other than the person to whom it belonged-in this case, Lily. She considered feigning sleep, but it was only five-thirty, so she carefully placed the photo in her bag and walked over to the door.

"What do you want?" She asked as soon as she opened the door a few inches. Potter was annoying her more than usual this year. Firstly, she didn't believe he deserved to be Head Boy at all, with his higher-than-thou attitude and mischievous plots that usually ended up in somebody being very upset, or hurt even. He was extremely immature and usually couldn't go a full day without asking Lily out.

That was it, she realized, right there in the door frame. That was why she had been so short with him lately. He hadn't once asked her out. Not even casually in passing. He hadn't once mentioned it. And he was pretending to act responsible, when really, she knew he wasn't. He was just playing a game with her. She knew that any day now he was going to start up again. He could never stay serious for very long, and this was probably just another one of his games.

"Evans?" He said, waving his arm in front of her face. "Did you hear a word I just said?"

"What? No, I didn't. What is it?" Lily asked, folding her arms over her chest. She wanted to make sure he knew that she was not playing his game, and wasn't going to act any differently just because he was pretending to play nice.

"Damn it, Evans, what do I have to do to make you change your mind about me? What have I done that's so bloody unforgivable?" He snapped, hazel eyes flashing angrily. Lily recoiled, shocked. Potter was usually an arse, and this wasn't the first time that she'd seen him angry, but it was certainly the first time he'd been angry at _her_. And it was a different type of anger than what he showed the Slytherins; it was more personal, and slightly intimidating.

Lily, however, was not easily intimidated. "How dare you get mad at me! You're a terrible person, you can't stand it unless you have absolute attention from everyone. I don't care if everybody loves you, I know when somebody's sincere and you're anything but! " She snapped. "And just so you know in advance, I'm not going out with you!"

"What? I didn't even - why would you - _is that what you're thinking_?" he managed finally, feeling his cheeks grow red with rage. "I haven't even said anything like that this year! I get it - you don't like me like that. Fine! I don't know if I even like you anymore, to be honest. I bust my arse to get you to just _work_ with me and this is what I get! FINE!" He turned on his heel and started down the stairs.

"Fine!" Lily shouted back at his retreating form, slamming the door in his wake. _He doesn't fancy me anymore,_ she thought, _good_. It's about time. She threw herself on her bed and covered her head with a pillow, wondering why, for Merlin's sake, was she not happy about this new revelation.

-xxx-

Hi! If you're reading and enjoy, it would MAKE MY DAY if you leave any kind of feedback in a review. I appreciate hearing from you guys! =)


	4. Slug Club

"Prongs, mate, answer me."

"I think he's asleep, Padfoot - that was most definitely a snore."

"It's six-thirty at night!"

"No, that was another snore. Absolutely asleep."

"PRONGS!"

James rolled over and threw his pillow over his head. "Gerrof," he mumbled groggily. He felt himself drifting back into oblivion as there was a small lull in the irritating clamour of voices. He was far too tired to listen to Sirius' blabberings...

"OI! PRONGS! SOMEBODY'S STOLEN YOUR BROOM!"

James' eyes popped open and he flung the pillow from his face. He searched the room wildly for a trace of Sirius or Remus, but the room looked empty. His door was shut, though the room had grown considerably darker with only the small light of his desk illuminating the space. He felt disoriented - he was still fully clothed, shoes and all, and his tie was all but choking him. Loosening his tie, he sat back down on his bed; it creaked under his weight. He shook his head and ran a hand through his messy hair. He must have been dreaming about his friends, they couldn't possibly be in here.

"Did it work? I think it worked!" This time the speaking was quite muffled, and James sat stock-still in order to hear it. He put his head in his hands.

"I'm going bloody mental at age seventeen."

"No you aren't you dolt! _Prongs!_ Get your mirror!" Sirius had to be shouting into his two-way mirror with the volume he managed to emit. Finally realizing that perhaps he wasn't going mad, James reached for his bag, where he thought he had stored the mirror earlier that day. _Wow, had it really been only a few hours ago? What time is it?_ He glanced at his wrist, and was shocked that it was only six-thirty-three. They must have just finished dinner.

"Are you in here?" He asked, feeling ridiculous talking to his bag, "Just keep talking 'till I find you, I dunno where I put the damn thing." He pulled several wrinkled pieces of parchment from his bag, and a text book, as Sirius began to sing the national anthem, bizarrely out of key.

"God save our gracious Queen! Long live our noble Queen! God save the Queen!" James tore through his bag with a new fervour, anxious to end the relentless assault on his ears. Finally, he spotted the little mirror, and ripped it from the bag.

"Sirius! Shut up mate!"

"... send her victooorrrrrrrrrioussssss, happy and glooooo-"

"SHUT UP! I FOUND IT!" James roared into the mirror, where it was visible that Sirius was obviously taken by his little serenade, his eyes were closed and he was swaying side to side with the beat as he belted the words. Finally, James seemed to have his attention. Sirius stopped, mid-word and glowered at his friend.

"I was beginning to enjoy myself, thank you," He demurred. "Hey, where'd Moony go?" he turned his head about, seemingly searching for his friend. "Oh well. Anyway, why'd you miss dinner?" his voice took on a scandalous tone, "Were you and Lily -"

James cut across him, suddenly reminded of what had sent him here to sleep off his misery. "No. Not at all, Padfoot. Where are you anyway?"

"Third floor corridor, working out some stuff with the map, we were wondering where you were."

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

xxx

"So wait, he said he doesn't like you anymore?" Mary had long given up on her charms essay, and was aimlessly drawing swirls on the side of her notes as she attempted to extract information from her friend.

"Shouted it, more like," Lily admitted, thumbing through a book on cheering charms absently, she lowered her voice a bit as Madam Pince stalked past them, looking very much displeased with their volume. "I mean, it's a relief, really. It's about time that idiot stopped harassing me when I clearly dislike everything about him. What made him even think he had a chance to begin with? He's despicable. I couldn't be more happy that- what are you smiling about?" Lily realized partly through her rant that the corners of Mary's lips were twitching upward. "I do not fancy James Potter," she confirmed, repulsed by the inference.

Mary shook her head, her smile now pronounced, and dropped her quill onto her parchment. "I never _said_ anything like that!"

"But you were thinking it!" She hadn't noticed that she'd raised her voice above hushed tones again, and Madam Pince swooped down upon them, shushing loudly.

"Sorry, Madam Pince," Lily muttered, her face reddening as an embarrassed tingle ran through her stomach.

"Yeah, our apologies, perhaps we should be getting back now," Mary stood up, her chair scraping dully across the carpeted floor. Madam Pince nodded, affronted.

"Perhaps," she agreed pointedly.

Lily stood up, checked out the charms book she'd been mindlessly going through, and joined Mary in the hallway outside of the library.

"Honestly though, I don't like him, Mary." Lily repeated, worried that she was being misunderstood. The prospect of Mary believing she actually fancied James Potter was a terrifying one. Mary readjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder and pulled her hair out from underneath it.

"I get it, Lily, I was just teasing. But don't you think you ought to try and get along? You've worked so hard to get this position, what if McGonagall decided it wasn't working out?" her cerulean eyes were sincere, and Lily sighed, shrugging.

"I suppose you're right about that. I can just act... professional. Mature. I can do that, right?" Mary nodded in encouragement, but Lily had a strange sense of deja vu.

"Absolutely!" Mary continued, "I heard that Slughorn's having a kind of welcome back party tonight, for his Slug Club. Are you going to go?" Mary had never been a part of the Slug Club, but Lily had been since her fourth year and often dragged her best friend to the get-togethers as her guest. In all of the drama of the afternoon, Lily hardly remembered a thing about potions, least of all about the party. It was the first one of the year though, and she figured that she shouldn't be rude and not show up.

"Yeah," she crinkled her nose, but quickly smiled, "You're coming with me!"

"Ah, Miss Evans! Lovely to see you could make it!" Slughorn was fashioning a large smile, his cheeks quite red. He hardly acknowledged Mary standing beside Lily, who was now scowling despite the fact that she was used to this type of treatment by now. Her expression brightened considerably when she spotted a table full of sweets and other delectible eatables, and she set off toward it, Lily trailing behind.

"Miss Evans!" Lily spun around to face the professor again.

"Yes, Professor?"

"Have you seen Mister Potter this evening? I owled him an invitation but I didn't get a chance to see him after class." Lily paused; she hadn't been expecting that and wasn't sure what to say. She knew she couldn't say what first came to mind - that she had no idea where Potter was, and she couldn't possibly care less - and it wouldn't be right for her to complain about the Head Boy to Professor Slughorn, so she simply shook her head.

"I'm sorry, no I haven't... He's been busy though - you know, Head Boy and Quidditch Captain, he seemed a bit peaky earlier." She was appalled at how easily this little stretch of the truth flowed from her lips, and shrugged again, hoping Slughorn didn't see through her.

"Ah, yes, he's a busy young man. I do hope he's well. Thank you, dear," He turned back to another student, whose mother was a high-ranking ministry official, and she let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in. That wasn't really a lie, she told herself, justifying what she'd said. He was probably a bit peaky from our row and the stress. Besides, why else wouldn't he be here?

"What'd Slughorn want?" Mary asked through a mouthful of sweets. "Oh wow, this is excellent," she added, gesturing to a tart to her left.

Lily shook her head, "Nothing really, he wanted to know where Potter was... I can't believe he was even invited, honestly. He's never been before." She shook her head again and reached for the tart Mary had pointed to, placing it in a plastic plate she'd picked up on her way.

"I suppose he just invited him since he's the Head Boy," Mary said reasonably. Lily frowned, remembering what Mary had said earlier about her and Potter trying to get on better. It would be much easier to do if she didn't feel this indescribable physical repulsion at the thought of him, mixed with something else, something too uncomfortable to face...

xxx

Thank you SO much to all of you who have been leaving reviews, it's so motivating and uplifting to read them all =D If you have the time and are enjoying this, please drop a review and I'll respond!


	5. Treaties and Chickens

**A/N:** Apologies if you guys got a couple of notifications about this chapter - I was having some technical difficulties, and almost released the following chapter instead . That's the last time I work on two chapters at once!

Anyway...

 **Disclaimer:** obviously I am not JK Rowling, and none of these characters are mine! Happy reading =)

-xxx-

James took a deep breath, steeling himself. He had spent the better part of the day preparing himself for how he was going to handle this, rehearsing what he would say. Sirius had just given him a long pep-talk, saying that it might be for the best that Lily thought he didn't like her anymore. 'People say loads of things they don't mean when they lose their rag,' Moony had added reassuringly. Perhaps she'd take him more seriously if she believed that he was no longer desperately in love with her. Of course he'd have to keep the fact that this was not strictly the case to himself.

He took another calming breath before forcing himself to start moving; he couldn't stand in the portrait-hole forever, and he was only delaying the inevitable by procrastinating. He walked slowly into their shared common room, and quickly spotted Lily. She was sitting in an overstuffed armchair across from the fireplace, a book propped up on her legs. She wasn't reading it, though. In her hands was what appeared to be a small piece of paper, which she was studying intently, searching for something that perhaps wasn't there at all.

James cleared his throat quietly, having the feeling that he was intruding upon something private. Lily's green eyes shot up to meet his, alarmed, and she placed the photo in her book before slamming the cover shut.

"What are you doing here now?" She demanded, her cheeks growing pink. She set the book down on the small table and stood up, glancing at her watch.

Forgetting momentarily that he was supposed to be ending the problems, not causing more, James let out a frustrated sigh. "Why are you always so bloody surprised when I show up in this room, _which we share_?"

"Don't swear," Lily said quickly, as though it were a reflex. She bit her lip, and then went on. "Well, I only thought that you were going to be holding quidditch try-outs… wasn't that supposed to be going on now?" James was so taken aback by her honest response that he momentarily forgot about quidditch. Apparently she wasn't in the mood to jump down his throat for the least littlest thing, and he was keen on getting out what he had to say while it lasted.

"Er, yeah, we were supposed to. The rain I can deal with, but the lightening isn't going to work. Try-outs have been re-scheduled to Saturday," he clarified quickly, eager to get to what he'd come to say.

"Oh," Lily said simply, picking up her book again. She looked indecisive as to what to do next, so James launched into his spiel.

"Evans, I wanted to talk to you… we really should try and get along. McGonagall is waiting to hear about what activities we should do here, and we have a prefect meeting this Friday…" He drifted off, gauging her reaction. This sounded nothing like what he'd been repeating in his mind the whole day, what he'd planned had been much more eloquent, he was sure, but he couldn't quite remember what it was.

Lily gently set her book back down on the table, and sat lightly back down on the overstuffed chair. "I think you're right," she admitted.

James gazed at her a moment, sitting in that chair, sincerity etched into her every lovely feature. "You do?" He finally managed, afraid to move. Then Lily did something shocking – absolutely unheard of – she smiled. Lily Evans just _smiled_ at James Potter. If only he knew how funny his flabbergasted expression was, he might have understood. He gave her a lop-sided grin in return.

xxx

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth!"

"Peter, you're such a wimp." Sirius complained, spinning his wand between his fingers in boredom. Remus rolled his eyes, readjusting himself on the dormitory floor into a more comfortable position.

"If we all did dare all the time this game would take ages. Anyway, my turn to ask the question… Hmmm… Hey, who do you fancy, Wormtail?" He just realized that Peter never really went on about any one girl. Usually they were all so caught up in their own problems, or the big ones, such as James' Head Boy issues, that Peter's interests could occasionally be forgotten. It wasn't intentional, of course, they were quite fond of the most inept of the Marauders, but he could be so quiet about himself sometimes.

Now Peter looked from Sirius and then back to Remus, his ears and cheeks reddening slowly. "Can I switch to dare?" He questioned, his voice cracking.

"No way, mate!" Sirius interjected, seemingly interested in why his friend was so embarrassed to tell. Remus nodded in agreement.

"You _chose_ truth."

Peter grew redder by the moment, and mumbled something unintelligible.

"What was that?" Sirius stopped spinning his wand, genuinely curious. Remus propped his head up on his elbow.

"Heather," Peter said, louder this time. His ears surpassed red and went straight to purple in an instant, and his face was a bright turnip-like shade of red.

"Davis? Nice, Peter!" Sirius nodded approvingly. Heather Davis was a pretty fair-haired witch in their year, and he had a foggy memory of a certain snogging session in the broom cupboard last year. Classic. He didn't mention this though. "All right, your turn Peter."

"Okay then," Peter's skin began to turn its normal color as he spoke. "Sirius, truth or dare?"

xxx

"So, the Hallowe'en Ball is going to be on Hallowe'en itself then, instead of just a feast. Between your charms and my transfiguration we should be able to get some fantastic decorations up, and the prefects will help us." James jotted down a few more words on his parchment in his untidy scrawl, and looked back up at Lily, who nodded in agreement.

"Yes, it should work out well… I think we should all dress up, like the muggles do. It would be loads of fun," she gushed, green eyes lighting up at the idea. James had no idea what the muggles did on Hallowe'en, but was eager to agree to anything that had Lily so excited. He still felt as though he was walking on eggshells around her, and when she smiled it sent shockwaves through his stomach.

"Sounds good to me… so… the muggles, they dress up?" He asked delicately. "Like what, exactly?"

Lily laughed outright, seemingly finding it quite funny that he didn't recognize the customs of such a holiday as Hallowe'en, but quickly explained that they dressed up as different 'scary' creatures, or sometimes just something different, like a faerie princess or a character from a book. "And no," she added, "you cannot dress up as a wizard, Potter."

James assumed a look of mock outrage, and Lily laughed lightly, rolling her eyes. "Well, now that that's sorted, perhaps we should plan what we'll be saying to the prefects on Friday?"

xxx

Sirius exploded down the staircase and into the bustling common room, bare-chested, a pair of underpants (clean, thank Godric) placed ludicrously atop his head. In his arms was a large white hen, squawking loudly. He stumbled down the last stair, dropping the hen as he did so; it sped across the common room, clucking frantically as it evaded capture. Students of all years dropped whatever they were doing to watch – some of the younger ones absolutely nonplussed, while the older students who were familiar with the Marauders' frequent antics, sat calmly back to enjoy the show. Sirius dove over the couch, nearly clocking a second-year boy who had been attempting to read a book.

"STOP THAT CHICKEN!" He roared, stumbling over a horrified third-year and lunging at the white bundle of feathers. He caught it, finally, but just as he slammed onto the thing with all of his weight, the animal changed back into a pillow, and feathers exploded across the common room. All eyes were on the bizarre spectacle, though there was mostly a startled silence. Except, of course, for two seventeen-year-old boys, who were curled over laughing by the staircase. Remus clutched his side, gasping for breath, and Peter had fallen to the floor into a helpless heap of wild laughter.

"Nice – one – Peter!"

-xxx-

Thanks so much for reading, and leaving reviews, I really love reading them!


	6. Mudbloods and Blood Traitors

**Last Chapter:** "STOP THAT CHICKEN!" He roared, stumbling over a horrified third-year and lunging at the white bundle of feathers. He caught it, finally, but just as he slammed onto the thing with all of his weight, the animal changed back into a pillow, and feathers exploded across the common room. All eyes were on the bizarre spectacle, though there was mostly a startled silence. Except, of course, for two seventeen-year-old boys, who were curled over laughing by the staircase. Remus clutched his side, gasping for breath, and Peter had fallen to the floor into a helpless heap of wild laughter.

 **Disclaimer:** Still not JK Rowling.

xxx

"That's absolutely nonsensical! Why should we imitate the harebrained customs of muggles?" Edward Avery protested, his arms folded firmly across his chest. He was seated in a large armchair of the Head's common room, somehow managing to retain his regal air even as he slouched lazily, his right foot over his left knee. Lily had hardly gotten out of her mouth the plan for the Hallowe'en dance before there was a jumble of dissent from the Slytherin section of prefects. She had been expecting as much, but she still wasn't sure of what to say in response.

"What can you expect," muttered another Slytherin in an undertone, nudging the girl next to him, "with a mudblood as Head Girl." Lily couldn't quite make out what he said, so she simply took a breath, gathering her arguments and looking toward the prefects from the other houses. She was just about to begin speaking again when she was interrupted a second time.

" _What_ did you just call her?" James snapped, hazel eyes blazing behind his glasses. Lily flew out of her chair immediately, flinging her arms between James, who was glaring menacingly, and Evan Rosier, who had jumped to his feet at the threat. She was horrified at the prospect of James relapsing into his old habit of hexing people just because he wanted to, and her not preventing it.

"Stop it, both of you - _Potter_ ," She shot him a look.

"He called you a - "

"I don't care what he said. Rosier -" she rounded on the sixth year slytherin. "If you have something to share, be sure to say it so we can all hear you. Is there something you'd like me to know?" she inquired. For a moment there was total silence as each of the prefects waited to see what he would say. Even the two hufflepuff girls who had been murmuring commentary throughout the meeting were silent.

"No, Evans, there isn't." Rosier shot James another dirty look before sitting down next to Avery, seething. Lily imagined if he were a cartoon character, smoke would be emanating from his ears in plumes.

"Does anybody else have any opinions on the matter?" Lily asked, running a hand through her dark red hair absently, attempting to prevent her discomfort from showing by keeping her expression composed. There was a short pause before Emmaline Vance, a Ravenclaw prefect, raised one dainty hand.

"I think it's a superb idea. It's something fun for everybody, and it's a dance - who doesn't enjoy a good dance? I'm sure you'll find that most people won't have an issue with it." She turned to the boy next to her, eyes asking for some back up, and he nodded in assent.

"Thank you, Emmaline," Lily said with sincerity, feeling as though a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. At least people in the other houses weren't so averted to her idea. Emmaline smiled politely.

"All right then. Everybody in favor of our muggle-themed Hallowe'en dance, raise your hand," James called, seemingly having gotten a hold on his emotions. He raised one of his hands, a lop-sided smile on his lips, and most everybody else raised their hand as well. Even a fifth year slytherin prefect raised her hand slowly, glancing around nervously as though she'd be struck down where she sat for doing so. Soon all but Avery - whose outrage had faded into perturbance - and Rosier, whose iron gaze could have stunned a basilisk, had their hands raised, The other fifth year slytherin appeared indifferent, but clearly was not as brave as the girl, and kept his hand in his lap.

"I suppose that's decided then," James' smile widened into a bright grin. "Everybody's stationed where we discussed earlier. If you have any problems you can speak with Evans or myself. Cheers!" The prefects stood up, filing out of the common room one by one, until only Rosier remained. Lily had already headed up to her room to begin schoolwork, so James didn't bother to play nice as he spun to face the slytherin.

"What do you want, Rosier?"

Rosier smirked, obviously reveling in the adverse affect he had on the Head Boy. "You know, Potter," He said quietly, eyes flashing, "Mudbloods and blood traitors are no different in the eyes of the Dark Lord."

James' hand flew to his robes, and in a flash he whipped out his wand, closing in on the slytherin in half a moment. "You'll be expelled for that."

"Oh? By what witness? The batty Head Boy who's known to curse slytherins without provocation? That's what you're going to do now, eh? Go ahead, blood traitor." Rosier managed to keep his silky voice even and low, so as to insure he wasn't overheard.

"Not today, you filthy bastard." Though he wanted nothing more than to hex Rosier into the next century, he simply grabbed the other boy by the tie, opened the portrait hole and shoved him out of the opening. The portrait slammed closed in his wake.

xxx

"Sirius Black!" James strode purposefully through the corridors, clutching his two-way mirror in front of him and not bothering to look where he was going. Several students sidled out of his way as he stormed down toward the Headmaster's office.

"All right, Prongs?" Sirius' face appeared before him quickly, grey eyes glazed over in boredom. The stone background behind him was blurry and his image shook with motion, one could only assume that he was walking the halls. "What's got you in a right state?"

"Rosier!" James spat, as though the name left a sour taste in his mouth. "He's a bloody Death Eater, I know it. Calling me a blood traitor, and Lily a - a - you-know-what!"

"Did you just call Evans Lily?" Sirius laughed. He looked away from the mirror for a moment, then back down, sniggering. "Heads up, Prongs!"

"Argh!" James nearly lost his grip on his mirror as he collided into somebody somewhat larger than him. Sirius guffawed as they both caught their balance.

"You git!" James shoved his mirror back into his robe pocket and turned to face his friend. "I'm going to get you when you least expect it, Black!" He snarled, before grinning once again.

Sirius held up their map, which James figured was how his friend found him so quickly. He pulled out his wand and muttered "mischief managed," before putting the map and his mirror into his robes.

"I saw how close you were and couldn't resist. So what's this you're going on about? Regulus calls me a blood traitor all the time, and he's not a Death Eater," He reminded James, throwing an arm over his friend's shoulders as they began to walk again.

James shook his head, tempted to remind Sirius that Regulus was only fourteen; he still had time to become a Death Eater, but he wouldn't dare bring up such a touchy subject in that trivial manner, so he ignored the reference and continued. "He was talking about Voldemort, calling him the 'Dark Lord'... Anyway, I wanted to ask you what the password to Dumbledore's office is. Didn't Flitwick send you there for charming the chairs in his classroom to do the Irish Jig?" Sirius shook his head.

"No way, he almost gave me extra credit for that little ditty! Didn't though, said it sent the 'wrong message.' Why, you gonna tell Dumbledore?" They turned a corner, ducking under a fifth year who was suspended by the ankles from the ceiling. That was quite a common site lately; it was a bit of a competition to see who was off their guard, and who could cast the spell first.

James shrugged, ruffling up his hair absently, "I dunno, what do you suppose I do?" Sirius' expression turned scheming, "Well, I think you could guess what I would do... it involves a few dungbombs, and a possible visit from 'The Grim.'" He laughed. James chuckled, but he couldn't help but feel a twinge of annoyance. Didn't Sirius realize that this wasn't like their previous spats with Slytherins? This absurd war was coming closer to their lives with every moment, and now there were people even in the school who had pledged their allegiance to Voldemort. He quickly caught himself, though. He couldn't possibly get short with Sirius for being Sirius; he was only trying to help.

"I have to go to Dumbledore," He decided, knowing it was the right thing to do as he said it. "Is he in his office?" Sirius pulled out the map, and they both searched it thoroughly, but soon realized the Headmaster was nowhere to be found.

"He's not even here again," Sirius' eyes screwed up as he searched the map a second time, before he finally gave up. He stopped walking, leaning heavily against the wall. "He's been absent a lot, lately. What do you think he's up to?"

"Who knows, probably something that has to do with the war," James offered darkly. "I suppose we can tell McGonagall, want to come with me?"

"Of course, mate."

xxx

"D'you think Remus is into blokes?" Mary asked suddenly, looking up from the part of her comforter that she was decimating. Lily blinked, toying with that thought for a moment. She finally shook her head, laughing lightly.

"Er, no, I've never thought that. Why, do you think he is?" Lily questioned, eyeing her friend carefully. Mary had quickly looked back toward her blanket again, and was systematically tearing at it with her nails as before. She had dragged Lily up to the Gryffindor girls' dormitories in order to be able to have a normal conversation with her, as it seemed that they didn't get as much time to be together as usual.

"No," Mary said finally, still not looking up. "It's only, I dunno. He never seems to have a girlfriend. I mean, have you seen him? He's got a lot going for him, he's intelligent, sweet, a marauder, and, you know, he's far from looking like a troll." Without warning, her cheeks reddened quickly, she knew Lily could see straight through her.

"Mary! Do you fancy Remus Lupin?" Lily had not seen that coming at all. Mary usually went for the Sirius Black type - loud, funny, sexy. She'd never had her pegged as somebody who'd like Remus Lupin.

"Shhh! The whole castle'll hear you!" Mary stopped pulling apart her blanket, and ducked her head, embarrassed. "It's just a silly crush," she insisted.

Lily smiled teasingly, "Of course, Mary... why don't you ask him to the Hallowe'en ball, he'd go with you, you know."

"No way!" Mary looked mortified at the very thought of asking him such a thing, "If he asked me, but I could never!" She shook her head, her wavy dark hair bouncing off her shoulders. "Anyway, what's going on with you and Potter?" She raised her eyebrows, eager to change the subject.

Lily shrugged, "We're getting on all right, I suppose. He almost hexed a slytherin today in the prefect meeting, though." She shook her head, eyes closed disapprovingly. "That's what bothers me, he's so unpredictable and still isn't really mature, but I suppose he's trying..." She shrugged again, lost for words. She didn't like the fact that her palms were sweating, or her stomach was doing odd flip-flops. She hoped that Mary didn't pick up on any of this; her friend could be considerably shrewd when it came to such things as this. Not that there's anything for her to notice, she told herself sternly, _I do not like James Potter. My palms are just sweaty because it's warm in here, and too much pumpkin juice upsets anybody's stomach..._

"Well what did the slytherin do? Surely he didn't want to hex him for no reason," Mary said reasonably, her face returning to its normal color. She no longer was picking anxiously at her bedspread, but was twirling a stray hair around her finger absently.

"What? Oh, right. I dunno actually. It was Evan Rosier - you know, the sixth year. He said something; I didn't hear him." She made a face, like it was no big deal, but her cheeks tingled again and she knew they were turning pink with embarrassment, as she remembered what had happened. _'What did you just call her?'_ Potter's voice rang in her mind with astounding clarity. _He was defending me._

"Oh. Well, I'm sure it was something insulting. You can't blame the boy for everything, you know."

xxx

"Mister Potter, this is a _steep_ accusation. You are aware that such things cannot be taken lightly in light of recent events." Professor McGonagall's mouth was set in a firm line as she studied James and then Sirius for the hundredth time. She'd attempted to send Sirius on his way, as he wasn't involved in the incident, but knew that James would tell his friend everything that happened anyway, so she let him stay. She had made James go through the entirety of what had happened in great detail, but didn't seem content.

"You say that there was nobody else there as witness?" James noted that when McGonagall was angry or stressed, her Scottish accent became more pronounced. Now it was as thick as cold molasses. James nodded resolutely, wishing that hadn't been the case.

"He waited until the others left. But you _know_ I wouldn't make this up, professor." Though he said it like a statement, his eyes were almost pleading. Mcgonagall shook her head slowly.

"Don't be ridiculous, Potter. I shall mention this to Professor Dumbledore when he returns from his meeting, and it will be looked into thoroughly. For now though, there's nothing more you can do." James nodded grudgingly, not quite appeased. He felt like she didn't entirely trust his account. Could he blame her, really? Had he not devoted his first six years at Hogwarts to terrorizing those Slytherins who simply annoyed him? And Dumbledore, in a meeting? What type of meeting required him to leave school grounds? He didn't mention that particular thing though, as he turned to leave with Sirius. She would be a little to curious as to how he gleaned that bit of information.

"Thank you, professor," He mumbled, starting off in the direction of the door.

"And Potter?" McGonagall added, stopping him in his tracks. He turned around to face her once again.

"Yes, professor?"

"Please don't take matters into your own hands - that goes for you as well, Mister Black. I assure you, Professor Dumbledore and myself shall take _great_ interest in this until we get to the bottom of it."

xxx

Things will be heating up very soon! Please drop a review if you have a moment, I appreciate any and all feedback! Also, considering if I should change Avery's name - I think that Avery was probably 7th year with them, since he was a friend of Snape's, and not a 6th year. Also, I wonder if he would have been a prefect, considering his pension for dark magic (in the books he is involved in the group who cursed Mary Macdonald in I think 5th or 6th year), any thoughts?


	7. Rosier

**_Last Chapter:_**

"And Potter?" McGonagall added, stopping him in his tracks. He turned around to face her once again.

"Yes, professor?"

"Please don't take matters into your own hands - that goes for you as well Mister Black. I assure you, Professor Dumbledore and myself shall take great interest in this until we get to the bottom of it."

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own harry potter, or most of the characters.

 **Trigger warning:** there is some violence in this chapter, and a very subtle hint at sexual violence. I don't think that it's anything over the top, but wanted to give a heads up.

xxx

Lily stretched luxuriously, enjoying the warmth of the mid-day sunlight on her skin. It had been raining for several days straight, and she wasn't the only one with cabin fever; it seemed that most of the school was sprawled across the courtyard - chatting, reading - a pair of Hufflepuff boys were kicking around a muggle football. Near the entrance to the castle, two fourth year Gryffindors were huddled behind a bush, hexing unsuspecting students with _Levicorpus_ as they attempted to make their way to the lovely outdoors. Lily didn't even bother yelling at them - this weather was too lovely to ruin her mood by making her deduct points from her own house.

"Are you going to watch quidditch try-outs today?" Mary questioned, leaning over to untie her shoes. Mary had been the Gryffindor seeker two years in a row, and was quite gifted at it. Lily nodded her head, glancing at the Quidditch pitch in the distance. An uncomfortable shiver ran through her stomach, and she scowled lightly. She was terrified of flying, but usually didn't have a problem watching other people fly, so she didn't understand why nerves would be hitting her now. She refused to admit, of course, that perhaps the feeling wasn't caused by the flying.

"Of course I'll watch. Have to cheer you on, don't I?" She smiled at her friend, who had taken her shoes off and was now splashing her bare feet into the cool lake.

"Fantastic, you're my good luck charm," she laughed. Lily giggled too, but looked up at the wrong moment. Had she looked up at any other moment, perhaps a few seconds later, or earlier, she would have seen only a group of Ravenclaw girls studying in the grass. But she didn't. Across the lake - behind the Ravenclaws - three Slytherin boys were making their way through the courtyard. In the middle, was a hooked-nose, sallow-faced boy she once called her best friend. He was smirking, probably at something Mulciber or Avery had said - they were the two tall boys flanking him. She watched the trio saunter along for a few moments, until finally Severus turned his head to meet her eyes, as though he sensed her piercing gaze. She scowled, quickly turning away. The cold empty look she'd just received was chilling and unsettling.

"Hey, Lils, what - oh." Mary caught herself quickly as she followed Lily's gaze to Slytherin trio. Mary had some particularly unpleasant memories of Avery and Mulciber, who had hexed her with dark magic in their fifth year. Unfortunately, they only got detention, though they should have been expelled. "Er, well, we should get going, quidditch try-outs are in an hour and I still have to get changed," she said quickly, grabbing at her shoes and socks and shaking the excess water off of her feet.

Lily nodded, staring blankly at the lake. "Yes, you're right."

-:-

Lily was exhausted when she finally made it into her dormitory, as though she herself had spent the past several hours flying around on a broom - she was grateful that wasn't the case. She sat down at her desk, and sighed heavily, reflecting on the days events. Without warning, Severus' empty black eyes blazed before her vision, and she shivered involuntarily. That look had been filled with so much loathing, it was difficult to believe they were once the best of friends. Lily put her hand in her pocket, and pulled out the familiar photograph. Ever since she was moved to the Head's Quarters, she had taken to keeping the photo in her pocket at all times. She seemed to always have too much down time here, time to think. It was mildly upsetting.

She studied the photograph again, erasing the memory of Severus' hate-filled eyes with his small childish smile in the photo, and smiled sadly. Why did life have to be so complicated? Why couldn't they just go back? To the swings, where everything was fun and games, and at the end of the day Lily and Tuney would go home for supper and cookies. _Don't they realize that life is so short, and at the end of the day all we have is the relationships we forge?_

Ambushed by a sudden wave of homesickness, Lily took out a piece of parchment and a quill, this time to write a real letter to her family. She hadn't written since school started, and her mum and dad at least would probably love to hear from her. She decided to address the letter to her mum.

 _Dear Mum,_

 _School's going great, and being Head Girl isn't as scary as I thought it would be. The Head Boy, on the other hand... Do you remember that annoying boy I used to talk about, the one who always asked me out? Somehow he got Head Boy! It's not awful, though, we're getting along well enough. There are separate dormitories and a common room for the Head Girl and Boy, which are really beautiful. There's this lovely desk that I'm writing this letter on right now, in fact. Anyway, that's all of the excitement over here. Mary told me earlier to send you her love._

 _How's everything at home? I hope you, dad and Petunia are well. I miss you all very much, as always._

 _Lots of love,_

 _Lily_

She read over the letter twice, before folding it neatly and placing it in her pocket; she still had time to walk over to the Owlry. It was eight-thirty, but as Head Girl she wouldn't be penalized for being out of bed after hours, so she could take her time.

She started toward the door, but then turned around quickly, remembering that she had left her photograph on the desk. She picked it up gently, sighing as she examined her own delighted expression of that day, then her sister's, and finally Severus'. Still gazing at the photo, she started down the stairs. She wasn't worried about Potter sneaking up on her again - he was never inside on a Saturday night.

Potter, she thought, suddenly irritated with him again. Staring at this photograph, looking at Sev's innocent expression - how could it possibly be Severus' fault? Maybe if Potter hadn't found it necessary to torment the boy at every opportunity, he wouldn't have turned to dark magic.

If Lily were given the opportunity, had she been able to go on her walk to the Owlry without the site of Potter, her anger would have ebbed into the back of her mind. As fate would have it, though, the very object of her musings had left the Marauder's Map in his dormitory, and he exploded through the portrait hole, nearly knocking Lily over in the process. She dropped the photo and stumbled back several paces.

"Oh, sorry Evans -" James was about to start up his mad run again when Lily made a loud frustrated sound.

"What's _wrong_ with you, Potter?"

James skidded to a stop, mid-step, blue eyes wide and eyebrows totally gone under his messy black hair. "What?" He looked stunned.

She couldn't explain her sudden anger at him - it would sound ludicrous, she knew. So instead she made up a new reason. A silly one, she would realize later.

"You just have no regard for anyone around you! You think you can just run around the school, like you're the kind of Hogwarts, running into people, hexing people! You don't even apologize!"

James was clearly taken aback, his mouth slightly ajar. If he didn't know it would enrage her further, he would ask if it was 'her time of the month,' but he bit back that particular sentiment. "Er, I did apologize. I said, 'Sorry, Evans'!" He was not in the mood for another row, but was growing more impatient with every passing moment; he wanted to get back to his friends so he could explain to Remus and Peter more about Rosier, and his theories on Dumbledore's frequent absences. "Hey, what's this?" He picked up the photograph, which had fallen a few centimeters from his feet, but instantly regretted it. This was obviously the photo that he had spotted her studying a few days earlier.

"No! Give it here!" Lily made to grab the photo, but James spun around before she could get it. It was too late now, and curiosity had taken hold of him. He was surprised to see that it was a muggle photo, of three children. The middle one had stunning green eyes, and wild red hair.

"Is this you? And who's that girl and -" He stopped short, and suddenly regretted the four chocolate frogs he'd eaten. The boy was difficult to recognize at first glance; he was far more cheerful and almost innocent-looking. But his hooked nose, beady black eyes and sallow skin gave him away in a moments time. " _Snivellus!_ " James felt a cold jealous rage take hold of his system. How could she cherish a picture of such a disgusting individual! Somebody who'd called her horrible things in front of their entire year, somebody who hadn't spoken to her in two years! He crushed the photograph in his fist, not realizing what he was doing as he did it. Lily let out a horrified screech.

"I HATE you, James Potter!" She snatched the ruined photo from James' grasp, and for a split of a moment, she nearly hit him. James stood stock still, shocked into motionlessness as she stormed out of the Head's Dorms. Shocked at what he'd just done. _How did that just bloody happen?_

"I'm sorry," he whispered, looking down into his now empty palms, and cursing his wild teenage hormones. What he had wanted to say was 'I can't help it, I care about you, I might even love you,' as absurd as it would have sounded, but she was gone.

Forgetting about the map, he tore after her, suddenly taken by a strange and unexpected anxiety. He stumbled through the portrait-hole and ran after her, down the corridor.

" _Why_ are you following me, Potter?" Lily snapped, spinning around quickly, hands on her hips. James looked down, suddenly fascinated by his own shoes, but couldn't think of a decent response. For once in his life, James Potter was speechless.

"I -" _I'm what? Sorry? Worried? Ridiculous!_ He shook his head.

"Well stop it. Just shove off, Potter!"

Lily took off down the corridor, running wildly, though she wasn't sure to where. She had been running for a full five minutes before she veered off down a dark corridor, gasping for breath. She fumbled with the many objects in her pocket, before finally procuring her wand.

" _Lumos!_ " She muttered, unsure of where exactly she'd run to in her hysteria. She paced the corridor, catching her breath, and pulled what was left of the photograph out of her pocket again. Instantly, she regretted having acted as she did. Why did she let Potter get to her so much? What was so different about him?

Apparently, Potter had accidentally lost control of his magic as he throttled the photograph, as it was singed and crumpled to the point of nearly being destroyed. She decided she could mend it, though. After she went to the Owlry to send her letter. She put the photograph back into her pocket, and decided she had to figure out where she had gone. It was a dark, dank hall that held a rank odor, possibly mold. She wrinkled her nose, and raised her wand to spread the light.

" _Expelliarmus!_ "

Lily's wand flew from her hand, clattering to the ground several metres behind her. She looked around wildly, disoriented. Who would _dare_ attack the Head Girl in the school? Right under the nose of Albus Dumbledore? She backed up several paces, searching the darkness, heart pounding loudly from her chest to her ears.

"Who's there!" She shouted into the crushing black abyss that was closing in around her, suffocating her. The back of her neck tingled as the fine hairs stood on end. Abruptly, a wand alighted about a meter before her, revealing Slytherin robes. The light didn't reach his face, though. Lily took a step backward, wishing she knew where her wand had fallen. She glanced around the area that the light was hitting, hoping to see it. "What do you want?" She demanded, sounding a lot more fearless than she felt. The Slytherin laughed coldly.

"Isn't it _obvious_ , mudblood?" He raised his wand, and Lily's flight instinct quite thoroughly beat her fight reflex. Recklessly, she took off down the dark corridor, trying to run in a staggered pattern so that she'd be a more difficult target.

" _Impendimenta!_ " She felt herself being lifted into the air, and blown back into the cold stone wall. Her head cracked painfully as it made contact and she moaned in pain, reaching her hand back to check her skull - to be greeted with warm, sticky blood.

" _Incarcerous_!" Lily desperately attempted to clear the fog from her mind in order to roll out of the way of that particular hex; she knew once she was tied up there would be little she could do. To her dismay, her reflexes weren't working properly, she only managed to roll a few centimeters before she felt a constricting rope wrapping around her limbs. _Oh, bugger,_ she thought through her dazed headache. It was so comfortable here, perhaps she should just drift off to sleep... _No._ She shook her head quickly; she had to stay conscious. She wriggled against the ropes, but they only grew tighter. The light from the Slytherin's wand came closer, and Lily squinted against the sudden luminance, her head pounding.

Rosier's face swam before her groggy eyes. He grabbed her shoulders roughly, shaking her into wakefulness. He pulled the sleeve of his left arm up. "Look at my arm!" He ordered. Lily shook her head, not in the mood to bend to the will of her captor.

"Nothanks," she mumbled, the words slurring together.

 _"Look at it!_ " He shook her again, this time her head knocked into the stone wall again. She glanced at it, but saw nothing remarkable; only his pale skin.

"Tonight, I shall be branded a Death Eater. Do you know how pleased the Dark Lord will be when he sees what I've brought him?" He laughed coldly. "I hadn't planned on catching you, I must admit. Thought I'd get some stupid troublemaker, thinking they'd explore... _The Prophet_ will have fun with this story." He smirked, quite pleased with himself and clearly enjoying his moment to tell Lily exactly what he'd have loved to share at the prefect meeting.

Lily moaned again, the splitting pain in her head impeding her thought-processes. She knew she had to think of something though, and soon. Perhaps she could stall him, at the very least. She took as deep a breath as the confining ropes would allow.

"How- how d'you expect you'll get me out... without Dumbledore noticing?" She questioned, her voice coming out far more quietly than she had intended. Rosier smirked again, which troubled Lily, as that was not the desired reaction.

"Now that's for me to know, and you to sit there fretting about, love." He responded, letting go of her shoulders and kneeling closer to her. He traced a cool finger down the side of her face. "You know, you're not bad looking for a dirty mudblood. Perhaps I should have some... _fun_ with you first." He ran his thumb across her lips, pulling the bottom one down, and Lily felt a cold, sickening feeling in her stomach. Wishing she had the clarity of mind or strength to spit at him, she settled with opening her mouth and attempting to bit him instead. He pulled his hand away quickly, standing up.

"Now that wasn't very nice now was it?" Rosier sneered and raised his wand, that disgusting smirk still upon his pallid face, which she saw in double. He glanced at his watch, and the smirk grew wider. "Lovely, there's still time. Father always says, 'practice makes perfect.' - but you'd better not scream, mudblood. _Silencio! CRU-_ "

" _Expelliarmus_!" Lily was sure that hadn't come from Rosier, and was again disoriented as another voice rang through the corridor. She closed her eyes, her head pounding with a new ferocity. The voice was still there. "What have you - NO! I _MPENDIME_ \- _Shit_!" Lily forced her eyes open, she knew that voice. When she searched the dark hallway, though, Rosier didn't seem to be there anymore. A brightly lit wand floated in the air toward her, quickly followed by a mortified face.

"Evans!" James' hazel eyes were wide with alarm. "Evans! Lily, can you hear me?" Lily opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She knew she was still under the silencing charm.

"I can't talk," She mouthed the words exaggeratedly, and it seemed to click. He lifted his wand, muttering the counter-jinx.

"Evans, can you talk? What happened. Oh Merlin, you're pale as a ghost, please say something." Lily blinked several times. Why was he so anxious? And why were there two of him?

"I'm all right," she croaked, trying to sit up, but the ropes clung to her more tightly than ever. The two James' in her vision looked equally relieved, and raised their wands simultaneously.

" _Diffindo!_ " Lily flinched slightly, expecting her skin to be cut, but the ropes simply fell from her. She propped herself up against the wall. She was hit with a sudden wave of humiliation as the jumbled events of the past several minutes came together in her mind, the full gravity of the situation coming to her.

"Lily? Do you hear me at all?" James was suddenly kneeling next to her, seemingly torn as to whether he should touch her or not. "Did he confund you?"

Lily shook her head, alarmed by James' sudden closeness. "No, just hit my head, is all. I'm okay." Her voice was returning to its normal volume, and the two Jameses were melding into one, though they weren't quite there yet. She took a deep breath and made her way shakily to her feet. She promptly collapsed onto the wall. "Maybe I'll just rest here a moment," she muttered, her embarrassment growing stronger as she became more aware of the situation. "Could you get me my wand? Please?" She added quickly; she had the unpleasant feeling that she owed Potter far more than she'd care to admit, least of all politeness.

"Er, sure, _Accio_ wand!" Two wands whizzed toward him simultaneously. He snatched them up quickly and turned back to Lily. "Which one is yours? You look awful; I'm taking you to the hospital wing."

"No!" Lily protested, wobbling a few small steps from the wall. It was humiliating enough that she had to get herself into such a situation, and then be found by - of all people - Potter, but now she had to go to the hospital wing, too?

Potter suddenly got a daft smile on his face, as he pocketed both of the wands in his hands. "Lucky for me, you don't have much say in the matter." In a moment, he had scooped her up like a child, one arm under her upper back and the other behind her knees. Lily made a small squeaking sound, throwing her arms around his neck in a death-grip, sure he was about to drop her.

"Potter! Put me _down_ ," she demanded, her head clearing more quickly with the adrenaline flowing through her veins.

James chuckled lightly, and she felt the sound echo in his chest as he walked. She took a deep breath, ready to continue her demands of being let down, but accidentally inhaling whatever it was that made Potter smell like Potter. He smelled quite nice, really. For one mad moment she considered resting her head against his chest - it was quite comfortable, and safe feeling - prepared to claim insanity later, but she stopped herself, appalled at the thought. I really must be going loopy.

"Honestly, Evans, way to send a bloke mixed signals. First you're hugging my neck, next you're demanding I put you down," he laughed again, though it was a bit of a nervous laugh, as though the sad attempts at humour were to ease his own nerves.

"Wait a moment," Lily said, noticing something. "You've been calling me Lily... why's that?"

"I just called you Evans, Evans. How hard did you hit your head?"

"Just now, yeah, but before - you were calling me Lily." She was sure of it, she wasn't that loopy.

James paused a minute, thinking, his even breath tickling the wayward hairs upon Lily's head. "All right, yeah. I did call you Lily... We're almost to the hospital wing. I'm going to go get Dumbledore after I drop you off. Maybe you shouldn't tell Pomfrey exactly what happened just yet..."

Lily let go of James' neck, suddenly realizing that she was still clutching onto him, and was thankful for the darkness that he couldn't see how much she was blushing.

"Potter, let me down, really, I'm all right. James!" He stopped walking, a stunned expression plastered on his face.

"Er, okay, I suppose. You sure then?"

"Yes." Lily felt much more comfortable once her feet were firmly on the ground, but still decidedly awkward. She wished she could undo this entire evening, that she'd made the decision to just go straight to the Owlry instead of running off into unknown parts of the castle. Then she remembered what Rosier had told her. If he hadn't found her, it would have been somebody else. Chills ran through her spine as she imagined some unsuspecting student being snatched up by Rosier. That would have been awful, she decided. Just then she remembered, Rosier had somehow managed to disappear inside the castle. She knew that apparating was impossible within the castle's walls, and she hadn't seen how he managed to get out.

"How did Rosier escape?" She inquired, starting off toward the Heads common room. Her head was still pounding painfully, but she could now see clearly and was able to walk without stumbling over her own feet.

"A portkey, I think," He answered, an annoyed expression marring his features. _Of course..._ She knew she'd read something about those somewhere, bewitched muggle objects that would transfer you anywhere, but had never used one herself. "He just leapt over toward this book on the floor, and disappeared."

"Oh," Lily said simply, unsure of how else to respond.

"Where are you going? I think we should go tell Dumbledore straight away." James stopped in his tracks, ready to turn left toward the Headmaster's office, rather than right. Lily sighed, rubbing at the crusted blood on the back of her head. She figured she really couldn't possibly be more embarrassed tonight, so she relented.

"I suppose you're right," they both started off down the corridor to the left.

"Hey Ev- Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm so sorry." He was looking at his feet, stepping carefully over any cracks in the floor.

"For what?" Lily asked, confused.

"About the photo. I don't know what came over me, but I'm sorry."

Lily shook her head, thinking of how trivial their row over the photograph seemed now. Had that really been what started all of this? She looked down at her feet as well, feeling foolish.

"I'm sorry, too."

xxx

Hey all! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Please keep it up - the feedback keeps me going and motivated to update more! I usually individually thank each reviewer with a private message, but since I got a couple of anonymous ones this last go-round, I wanted to make sure to also thank Honeybear27, and Demi-Leigh, for their wonderful reviews! Let me know what you guys think and hope you're all having a great week!


	8. Quidditch and Potions

**Last Chapter:**

Lily shook her head, thinking of how trivial their row over the photograph seemed now. Had that really been what started all of this? She looked down at her feet as well, feeling foolish.

"I'm sorry, too."

 **Disclaimer-** still not mine.

-:-

Lily awoke to a splitting headache. She didn't open her eyes straight away, but she could tell from the red hue her eyelids held that it was quite bright in the room. Slowly, she opened up one green eye, then the other. Immediately, she shut them again; the light was blinding. Pinching the bridge of her nose, then rubbing her eyes, she made another attempt at opening them, this time meeting success. She was surprised to note that she was not looking at the wall of her dormitory, but the ceiling of the common room: she was on the couch.

Perplexed as to how she ended up here, she gazed around the room. Potter was sprawled out on an overstuffed armchair, his glasses askew, snoring lightly. He was still wearing his Hogwarts robes, except his tie, which was strewn across the table next to him.

Lily rubbed at her face groggily, running her other hand through her hair. _Was I drunk or something?_ She wondered, frightened at the many creative reasons she was dreaming up for how she and Potter ended up in the positions which they were in. Then suddenly, it hit her. Every memory of the night before came crashing into her mind, unwelcome, as her headache intensified. She lay back down on the couch, closing her eyes. She still couldn't remember how she ended up here, instead of in her dormitory.

As though he had sensed her staring at him, James yawned loudly before opening his eyes. "Lily, you're awake," He gave her one of his lop-sided grins, before rubbing his neck and grimacing; he was sore from sleeping all night on an armchair.

"Yeah," Lily answered, still unused to him using her first name. "Er... how come we're in the common room?" she questioned delicately, feeling that she should know the answer to that without asking. She remembered hitting her head, and Rosier, but all of her memories of the previous evening had a clouded, dream-like feeling to them.

"You were really loopy last night; I convinced you to sleep on the couch so I could keep an eye on you," James seemed to be awakening quickly to his usual self, though Lily found something about the sincere concern in his voice oddly disconcerting.

"You did?" Lily questioned, racking her brain for any memories of such an event, but unable to find one.

"I was worried about you," James admitted sheepishly, the words pouring out of his mouth more quickly than usual as a hand flew up into his already very messy black hair to muss it up a little more, a nervous habit. "How's your head? You gave it a right whack, but wouldn't let me touch it," he rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling.

"I cleaned it myself?" Lily felt the back of her head again, disturbed by her lapse of memory, but pleased to find that there was only the faintest trace of dried blood on her scalp.

"Yeah... I should have made you go to the hospital wing. You really don't remember? D'you ... D'you remember what happened last night?" He fidgeted in the armchair uncomfortably. Lily nodded quickly.

"Yes, I remember that. I only can't remember just before I went to sleep, I suppose I was just tired. I'm all right though, I'm feeling fine," the last part was a bit of a lie, as her head was aching painfully and had a lingering sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, but she really wanted to get off of the subject. "Wait, weren't we going to go to Professor Dumbledore?" She hoped she was right in thinking that they hadn't gone; if they had then she was really suffering an enormous lapse in memory.

"We were going to, but he was out again," He scowled. "It's like he's never here anymore. I'm sure word's getting around though; it always does. Perhaps we should just go to McGonagall again."

" _Again_?"

-:-

Mary fidgeted anxiously, pacing the common room. She had been counting on James Potter to post who had made what positions on the Quidditch team, and was beginning to believe more with every passing moment that she had failed miserably.

"Ugh, please, Mary, you're making me nauseous with all that pacing!" Alice Prewett complained suddenly, dropping her charms textbook onto the floor in frustration.

"Sorry, Alice," Mary muttered, glancing at her watch. "It's just that, it's noon already and Potter hasn't posted the positions yet! You'd think he would have done it this morning. I just _know_ I didn't make it." She sat down on the armrest of the couch, sighing miserably.

"I'm sure that's not the case, Mary." Mary's eyes shot to the bottom of the boys' staircase, where Remus Lupin, closely followed by Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, was entering the common room. Mary shrugged, feeling her cheeks redden suddenly; she quickly began to examine the threading on the couch with great interest - it was as though Lupin had heard she and Lily's conversation about him the other day and was now attempting to torture her.

"But did you see how well that fourth year flew? He was a natural," She managed, somehow sadistically desiring this conversation to keep up despite how humiliated by her stupid blushing she was.

Much to Mary's dismay, Sirius beat his friend to a response. "Lighten up, Macdonald!" He gave her a crushing one-armed hug, lifting her off of her place on the side of the couch, before setting her back down. "Jamsie'll be up, love. He has a nasty habit of sleeping in. Late. So you'd best get comfy... 'course, if you need help with a distraction," he waggled his eyebrows suggestively, clearly joking. However, knowing Sirius, he would have gone along if she took up his offer.

"Please, Black, not in this lifetime." Mary rolled her eyes and peeled his arm off of her. Alice snorted, always amused to watch Sirius get turned down by any female.

"Come on Padfoot, leave her be," Remus joined back into the conversation. Peter sat down next to Alice, who was now on the opposite side of the couch as Mary, and was carefully opening a chocolate frog box. Mary looked down at her watch again, it was half past noon, and Lily had yet to make an appearance. That was odd for her, even on a Sunday.

"Has anybody seen Lily around?"

-:-

"Merlin's beard! Lily, what if he'd gotten you out of the school before Potter showed up!" Lily and Mary were back in the seventh year girls' dormitory, both sitting on the edge of Mary's four-poster bed. Lily had just given her friend a detailed explanation of the previous night in all its humiliating glory.

"I dunno," Lily whispered, horrified at how helpless she'd been the night before. She didn't like the idea of having to be rescued - it made her feel rather pathetic.

"What did Dumbledore say he would do about it?" Mary questioned, twirling a dark stray hair around her finger absently, as she often did. Lily shrugged; she hadn't been completely satisfied with the Headmaster's decision. She'd always had the bizarre idea that he was all-knowing and could fix any situation, no matter what. She was quickly learning that he was still human, despite his many strengths. It was a bit of a unsettling feeling, like the one a child gets when they see one of their parents crying; showing weakness.

"He said that he would be taking more precautions - put more protections on the school, and that he would question the Slytherins for information, but that was it. And of course, Rosier is gone for good. I think Dumbledore was surprised that a student would do something like that." Lily and James' meeting with the Headmaster had been decidedly short - half an hour at most. They had been about to tell Professor McGonagall instead, but the Headmaster had returned from whatever sojourn he was on the night before. Afterword, James had gone back to the Head's common room in order to put together the roster for the quidditch team, but Lily had come straight up to the Gryffindor tower, eager to get Mary in the loop so they could discuss everything.

"I don't know who wouldn't be surprised," Mary pointed out, shaking her head and closing her eyes disappointedly. "I mean, most Slytherins really irk me, but that's madness! D'you think he'll tell the school what happened?"

Lily shrugged her shoulders, clueless. She assumed that he would announce something to the school. It was hardly as if nobody would notice a missing sixth year prefect from Slytherin.

-:-

James came flying into the Gryffindor common room, toting a long piece of parchment which was covered in his messy scrawl. He wanted to get to the noticeboard before anybody attacked him for the parchment; it was nearly two o'clock and surely those who had tried out for positions on the team would be anxious to discover who made it by now.

The moment he tacked the parchment to the noticeboard, dozens of Gryffindors swarmed into the area, Mary Macdonald squeezing through to the front. She glanced at the page, almost afraid to know, and whispered the names and positions as she read them.

Keeper: **Tyler Johnson**

Chaser: **James Potter**

Chaser: **Bonnie Smith**

Chaser: **Isabelle Hopkins**

Beater: **Frank Longbottom**

Beater: **Jack Wood**

Seeker: **Mary Macdonald**

Mary let out a joyful squee and half hopped, half danced over to Lily and Alice, who had been working on Potions homework. She grabbed them both so that they could do a happy dance together. She soon let go and leaped over to James, throwing her arms around him in a bone-crushing hug.

"How did I make it?" She demanded, still squeezing the breath out of the Head Boy.

"I may have the energy to tell you if you allow me to breathe!" He laughed, gently peeling her off of him. Mary relinquished her death grip and stepped back a few centimeters, blue eyes locked on her name on the piece of paper behind James.

"Last year you were seeker, and Gryffindor won the House Cup. You're a fair flyer and a great seeker; that's why. Satisfied?" James ran a hand through his messy black hair and stole a glance at Lily, who was pretending to read the Quidditch roster despite the fact that she had no interest in it beyond Mary being on the team.

"Er, yes, sure. Thanks!" She tore her eyes from the paper and managed to restrain herself from hugging the quidditch captain again.

-:-

"You wouldn't believe the complete rubbish going around the school," Sirius informed James as they, Peter, and Remus, who was already beginning to look a bit ill as the full moon drew nearer, headed off to Potions. "Latest I heard, Rosier and a few Inferi had an evil plot to take over the school, but you and Evans thwarted him," He snorted at the notion, flicking a dark hair out of his face.

James rolled his eyes; he never ceased to be amazed at how the school managed to concoct numerous fabricated rumours within hours of an event.

"I last heard that Prongs here pushed Rosier off the Astronomy tower, but he survived and ran off into the forest," Peter piped up, sniggering at the image of James pushing the Slytherin off of the tower. Surely they all wouldn't have minded doing that, but the story couldn't have been farther from the truth. They reached the Potions classroom just as the queue was filing into the room. Surprisingly, they had all gotten into NEWT level potions. Remus was simply brilliant, and didn't have much of a problem with it. For Peter, Potions had always been his finest subject. James and Sirius had actually needed to study quite a bit to manage it, and Sirius nearly failed the exams, but in the end they all were in. James took his usual seat next to Sirius in the back of the room, while Remus sat next to Peter in the row before them. He stole a glance at Lily, who was seated in the front row off to the side, next to Alice Prewett - Mary had never liked potions and failed her Potions OWL quite spectacularly.

Slughorn informed the students that they were to make a moderately difficult Memory Potion. The ingredients magically appeared on the chalkboard as he drawled on about the finer points of the potion. James rested his head on his hand, his mind drifting. Every so often he'd steal a glance at Lily, before promptly forcing his eyes to stare blankly at the board - Indeed, he was exerting so much effort just to appear as though he was paying attention, it would have been far easier to simply listen to the professor. His mind wandered to the night before. How good it had felt to feel needed by Lily. He had been so concerned about what had happened, and why, and if she was okay, that he hadn't allowed himself to focus at all on the positive aspects of the night - he had gotten there in time, been able to help her. And most of all, she and him had made up. He gazed longingly at the back of her dark auburn hair, which looked so sleek and healthy in the low glow of the potions classroom. His eyes glazed over as he remembered how it felt when she had her arms wrapped around his neck, the sweet smell of her hair...

He was interrupted from his reverie by a crumpled piece of parchment rolling across the desk and opening in front of him. Sirius had drawn a large circle, with a lumpy thing next to it James could only assume was a cloud. Underneath he'd jotted _, 3 days!_

James glanced quickly at Remus, who was looking peaky already. He always felt badly that his friend had to go through painful transformations, but was glad they could all keep him company. Their little excursions were typically fun and exhilarating for Sirius, James and Peter - hence the exclamation point at the end of Sirius' note.

James picked up his own quill and wrote quickly so as not to be caught passing notes again. _Can't wait - forest or the edge of the village?_

Sirius was just beginning to scribble down a response when chairs started scraping against the floor as people made their way to get the necessary supplies for the potion. Sirius tapped the wrinkled parchment with his wand and it turned to ashes in his hand.

"I suppose whichever seems more fun at the time," Sirius said quietly as he and James made their way to the front of the room. That was what they usually did, anyway. Every so often there would be a teacher or other obstacle preventing them from doing one or the other, so it was mostly best not to plan at all.

Potions seemed to last longer than usual, with Sirius muttering a steady flow of expletives - he was having an unusually difficult time - and Remus not speaking very much at all given how ill he was starting to feel. Peter was never much fun in this class, as he was utterly focused on his potion as usual.

Slughorn made his way around the classroom, stopping to compliment Lily. " _Oho_! Finished already, Miss Evans?" He took a whiff of the gently steaming potion. "Well done!"

He made his way about the classroom, smiling in approval at Remus' and Peter's progress, nodding without comment when he saw James' potion.

"Oh dear," He commented quietly as he got to Sirius. "Perhaps you should add a bit more Jobberknoll feathers. And did you remember to add fish oil?" The blank look in Sirius' gray eyes told the professor quite loudly that the answer to that was no, and he moved on, making a small noise of disapproval.

 _"Oho!"_ Sirius mimicked, raising his voice a full octave as soon as Slughorn was out of earshot. "I'm gonna pour this sludge on his head," he muttered, gesturing to his mud-colored attempt at the memory potion.

xxx

Hi, all! Thanks SO MUCH for reading! Pretty please please leave a review if you got this far! Reviews are the bomb dot com and make my day!


	9. Shopping and Sleuthing

**Last Chapter:**

"Oh dear," He commented quietly as he got to Sirius. "Perhaps you should add a bit more Jobberknoll feathers. And did you remember to add fish oil?" The blank look in Sirius' gray eyes told the professor quite loudly that the answer to that was no, and he moved on, making a small noise of disapproval.

"Oho!" Sirius mimicked, raising his voice a full octave as soon as Slughorn was out of earshot. "I'm gonna pour this sludge on his head," he muttered, gesturing to his mud-coloured attempt of the memory potion.

 **Disclaimer:** Anything you recognize belongs to the brilliant JK Rowling, as always.

xxx

"Boyfriend problems?" Alice asked lightly, pushing around a mound of dirt with her foot, and digging up even more dirt in the process.

"Ex. My ex-boyfriend," Lily corrected, glancing carefully around the tree again. She felt slightly absurd, all but hiding behind a tree in the courtyard to avoid a boy. Not _hiding,_ she told herself, _buying time._ She had been under the impression that their relationship was just a little sixth-year fling. She had quite enjoyed his company, but she didn't like him. At least, not the way she felt she should in order to continue dating him. Apparently, Benjy Fenwick had an entirely different opinion of how their relationship was. He had been casually walking by, saying hello, and giving her that _look_ \- you know, the one that meant he was gathering what nerve he possessed to ask her out again.

She had successfully convinced herself that the reason why she was hiding behind this tree was because she liked Benjy - as a _friend -_ and respected him. He deserved a proper and merciful response, when he asked her out again. A response that ultimately meant 'no,' but ... kindly. And of course this was simply a quiet place conducive to that kind of thinking. Yeah. That sounded good.

"Why would he even _think_ I'm interested?" Lily found herself asking, picking up a piece of grass and slowly picking away the ends of it, causing the inside of her nails to be stained green.

"Well, why aren't you interested?" Alice questioned, pushing a piece of dirty blond fringe behind her ear. It was a moment like this when Lily wished Alice hadn't been the one to stumble upon her. Alice had the habit of asking Lily questions that she wasn't prepared to answer while she was distressed, whereas Mary would usually listen until Lily had gotten everything off of her chest before offering what was usually very helpful advice.

"I -"

That was an excellent question. Why wasn't she interested? He was a handsome ravenclaw with kind brown eyes and a witty sense of humor. She'd very much enjoyed his company. It's just... Lily had always been a bit of a closet romantic. She perhaps wouldn't strike one as the type, but she felt that there was something missing with Benjy. Something vital.

"There's just no... spark. Yeah. I like him, but I like him like I like Remus, or Frank," she said, shrugging and tossing the peice of grass she'd been destroying into the air, where it fluttered to the ground. Alice nodded in understanding, though she felt a warm, happy feeling in her stomach at the thought of Frank. They had been dating for months, but she still felt all goofy at the mention of him.

"It's best you're just straight with him. Tell him you just don't want to have a serious relationship with him," Alice pushed her giddy thoughts about Frank and the way he made her feel to the back of her mind so that she could be a better active listener. _This is about Lily,_ she reminded herself.

"Right. Straight-forward. I can do that," Lily was trying more to convince herself than Alice.

-:-

"Because I - I'm going with James Potter," Lily spouted off quickly as soon as Benjy asked her to go to the Hallowe'en Ball with him, unable to think of anything else in such short notice. She wished as soon as she had said that that she could snatch the words back. Not only was it an outright lie, it was an absolutely ludicrous concept. What would Benjy say when he found out she was not going to the ball with Potter? The ease with which she had been lying lately was alarming, and this time she was doing much more harm than good, she was sure. Why couldn't she have just heeded Alice's advice, and told him straight up that she didn't fancy him? Never matter, it was too late now.

Benjy had the expression one might wear after having been beaten over the head with a broomstick. He was positively flabbergasted. His tan skin masked it well, but Lily couldn't help but notice that his cheeks had even turned a little peach.

"Potter? Oh. Oh ... Okay. I apologize - I didn't realize -" Benjy's face was quickly becoming as red as crimson, and Lily felt a small embarrassed blush creep up her neck as well. This was totally silly. She couldn't take back her words now, though, so she just nodded uncomfortably, feeling ridiculous. _Why Potter? Why oh why Potter,_ she repeated as she walked across the school lawn, frustrated with herself. She supposed it must be because she thought of him when she thought of the ball. Because she and Potter were planning it together, it made sense. Satisfied with her excuse, she shook her head and tried to distract herself with thoughts of plans for the ball.

-:-

James glanced at his watch for what must have been the twentieth time in the past four minutes. It was six-thirty. Remus was already at the Shrieking Shack, and Sirius and Peter were waiting for him to join them in the second floor boys' bathroom so that they could set off on their monthly sojourn.

As wonderful as his new quarters were, there were certain disadvantages to living in close proximity to an exceptionally intelligent young woman. Lily was sure to badger him about where he was - it's not like she wouldn't notice him not being around at all tonight, and she had asked him something strange this morning. It was as though she was on to them.

They had been in Charms class, and she was helping him with a particular charm when she suddenly asked about Remus.

"Where has he gone?" She had inquired, suspicion behind her beautiful green eyes.

"His aunt is ill, he's gone off to see her," James had said automatically; it had been the same story since they'd begun to cover for him, and usually nobody asked any questions beyond that simple answer. Lily certainly wasn't nobody.

"She sure is ill often," Lily had said, looking back at her wand as though she were thinking about something that she was afraid he'd guess if he saw her eyes.

James stole another glance at his watch, but the second hand seemed to be moving even more slowly than usual. When Lily entered their common room, she had a very odd look on her face. It was impossible to place, and James was instantly curious as to what she was thinking about - at the same time a bit wary about what that may be.

"Er, James..." She began, a little blush creeping up her face. James sat down, momentarily forgetting the rush he was in.

"Yes, Lily?" He answered; he said her name at every opportunity now, even in sentences where one usually wouldn't bother saying somebody else's name. The fact that she responded when James called her 'Lily' was still a novel and beautiful concept to him. Lily dropped her bag and walked over, sitting across from him.

"We're friends now, right?" She asked delicately, looking a little uncomfortable. James nodded slowly, hoping his eyes weren't giving away the excited backflips his stomach was doing - he'd never really thought about it like that. _Lily and I are friends._ He certainly liked the sound of that.

"Yeah, of course ... why?" He added quietly, curious as to where this was going. He needed to think of a reason to get out of here soon, though. It was so much more dangerous to get into the shrieking shack after Moony already transformed, and he didn't want his friend to be alone for too long.

"May I ask you a sort of odd favor, then?" Lily's words were slurring together quickly in an uncharacteristic bout of nervousness, and her face was quickly coming to resemble her Auburn hair.

"Er, sure. Can't be more odd than some of the favors Sirius has asked me." James quipped in an effort to make her feel comfortable, though he also began to tap his fingers silently against the chair's armrest, anxious to get to Moony.

"It's pretty odd," Lily admitted, seemingly steeling herself for a moment though her cheeks were still quite red, and clearly oblivious to how anxious James was to finish this conversation. She pushed a bit of hair behind her ears and plunged into her question. "Er, you know the Hallowe'en Ball?"

"Yes," James said slowly, raising an eyebrow minutely. He stopped tapping his fingers, curiosity hooked.

"Er... Would you... maybe... I -" She broke off and shook her head. "Let me start again. You know Benjy Fenwick? We were going out last year for a spell. Well, we broke up in June, and I thought that was that. But he just asked me to go to the ball with him, and I wanted to kindly say no, but I accidentally said I was going with you." She looked at him expectantly, holding her breath after that ridiculous story.

James was gob smacked. His face was frozen in an expression halfway between disbelief and laughter. He wasn't sure whether she was joshing him or if she was actually serious. Finally, he settled on smiling his usual lopsided grin.

"Okay, Lily ... what made you say that when he asked?" He wasn't intending on making her even more uncomfortable; he was genuinely curious. He had spent the majority of his Hogwarts tenure harassing the poor girl, and now the first name off her lips when she's thinking of an excuse not to go to the ball with someone else, is his? James stopped his mindless tapping on the chair's armrest and waited more patiently than before, though he was quite eager to know the answer.

Lily shifted awkwardly in place, averting her eyes to the floor for a split second. "I dunno. You're my friend, and ... a boy ..." She said, somewhat lamely.

"Well, okay, then! Sounds all right to me," James stood up and glanced at his watch again. It was nearing seven o'clock and he really had to get going before Sirius came flying up to the common room and ruined everything.

"It does?" Lily questioned, surprised. She had expected him to say no point-blank, or perhaps to burst out laughing.

"Yup. Well, I'm off to bed," James yawned loudly, stretching his arms above his head. He turned off toward his bedroom, as another plan had popped into his mind as he was speaking to Lily.

"Already? It's only seven o'clock ..."

"Yeah, I'm exhausted - I was up all night last night writing an essay in my room," he lied, eager to get to his plan quickly.

"Oh. Well, all right. G'night then ... and James?" He stopped and turned slightly back toward Lily, who was half-way through pulling her books out of her bag to put on the table to study from. "Thanks."

-:-

James stuffed his broom in the cramped broom cupboard, a little wary of having to mix it up with all of those dodgy school brooms. But he had needed to bring it in order for his escape plan to work, and he had to deal with the downfalls of said plan. He carefully closed the door to the cupboard and strode quickly up the hallway before taking the stairs two at a time to get to the second floor. He had taken his broom and flown out of his dormitory window, landed in the courtyard of the school and snuck inside. All to avoid Lily's questions. Luckily, his plan had gone quite splendidly. He pushed the door to the boys bathroom open and was quickly greeted by Sirius and Peter.

"Merlin, mate, we were about to send a search party," Sirius called, letting out a small bark of laughter. Peter nodded in agreement.

"What took you so long? We were just thinking of ways to get you without Evans noticing." Peter glanced at his watch, which was so tightly strapped against his chubby wrist that it made a visible indentation and was possibly impeding the bloodflow to his fingers. This didn't seem to bother him, but the time did. "We've got to get a move on, poor Moony's probably going mad already." Without another word, his ears seemed to be shrinking into his head and brownish grey hair was sprouting from his every pore as he quickly shrunk to the ground. Mere seconds later, a rat was in the place their friend had been previously occupying. It was much easier, now that the boys were quite a bit bigger than they used to be, for only James and Sirius to go under the invisibility cloak while Peter scuttled along in the shadows as a rat.

Moments later, James pocketed his invisibilty cloak and if someone were to look in the courtyard at that precise moment, they would see an enormous jet black shaggy dog, a large stag and a small rat flying across the moonlit lawns.

-:-

Saturday morning, Lily awoke bright and early; it was a Hogsmeade weekend, and she and Mary were going to look for some clothes that could be used as Hallowe'en costumes - perhaps with some help from a charm or two. She hurriedly got dressed into comfortable trousers and an heavy sweater, happy to be out of her school robes for a change, and headed down toward the common room. She noticed briefly that James' door was still closed again. Odd. He had gone to sleep very early the past two nights, and Lily felt her suspicions becoming more solidified. Remus seemed to get very ill and then go missing about once a month. Last night she had felt her paranoia gripping her even more intensely as James went to sleep suspiciously early again, and she'd gone off to check what phase the moon was in. It sounded ridiculous even as she thought it, but was it possible that Remus could be ...? No, that's silly, she admonished herself, almost laughing at loud at the absurdity of her imagination. Still, she couldn't quite shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right with him, as sweet as he was. She shook her head, vowing to figure it out at some point, but not now. Now she had to focus on shopping and fun - life had been far too serious lately.

She arrived at the Gryffindor common room more quickly than usual, and was surprised to see that Mary was not only walking upright with the living, but fully dressed to boot. She was chatting away with Isabelle Hopikins, a Gryffindor chaser, and Alice, who also looked bundled up for the weather, and let out a happy squee when she spotted Lily entering the common room.

Less than twenty minutes later, Lily and Mary were parting ways with Isabelle and Alice at the entrance to Hogsmeade. The latter two girls were going to have a nice warm butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks before heading out to shop, while Lily and Mary had decided to head straight to Gladrag's to get some costume material.

"We've decided to have a costume competition for house points that the teachers will judge, so make sure you get something good," Lily informed Mary as she was greeted with a warm blast of air upon entering the shop.

"I already know what I want to be!" She announced, flouncing over to a nearby rack of dressrobes, her cheeks flushed. Lily followed closely behind her.

"What do you want to be then?" She asked, tugging at a bright periwinkle set of dressrobes which were absurdly frilly, but very soft.

"A faerie!" She giggled, dragging several limegreen and pink dressrobes from their racks and examining them closely. She stuck two of them back and grabbed a third, this one a pale yellow one. "What do you want to be?"

Lily shrugged, looking slowly through several of the dressrobes - most of which resembled quite closely muggle dresses - and pulled out a pale blue dress, before making a face and putting it back. "I dunno... I tend to not be creative about these kinds of things..." She pulled out another dress, this one an emerald green. It was quite pretty and she loved the color, but she had no idea still what she wanted to be, so she started to put it back on the rack. Before she could get it on the hanger again though, Mary snatched it from her grasp.

"Lily! Go try this on! It's gorgeous." She handed it back to Lily and pointed her in the direction of the dressing rooms. Lily looked the dress over again; it was quite pretty. It was full length and elegant, with a bit of fabric that fell over the shoulders and across the top of the chest. Lily decided to go over to the dressing room and try it on, at least. She had enough money with her to buy a pretty dress.

Less than five minutes later, she was examining her reflection in the mirror, running her hands over her stomach to flatten the fabric and tugging at every part of it to make if fall right. All of this was pointless, of course - the dress fit her perfectly, and brought out her deep green eyes beautifully. Somehow she couldn't help but to feel self-conscious, though, and it wasn't until Mary started shouting through the curtain to the dressing room for Lily to come out and show her what the dress looked like that Lily finally took a deep breath and pushed open the curtain.

Mary, who was already changed into the lovely pale yellow dress and had been in the process of twirling around in front of the mirror, let out a happy squeel when she saw Lily, and ran over to meet her.

"Bloody hell, Lily! Look at you! You look sexy!" She giggled as Lily's cheeks turned red. "Oh Lils, you must get that. It looks _gorgeous_ with your eyes." Lily glanced at her reflection in the mirror again, and decided Mary was right; something about this dress was sort of flattering to her. But she didn't even know what she wanted to be. She told Mary as much.

"So what! You can figure that out later, all you have to do is transfigure that a bit to change it up."

Nearly an hour later, after Mary had tried on a dozen dresses only to decide that she liked the pale yellow one the best, Lily found herself paying for the emerald dress. After a long day of shopping, it seemed appropriate to head off to The Three Broomsticks for a spot of lunch and butterbeer, so they bagged their dresses (after charming them not to wrinkle) and headed through the blistery cold once again to the pub.

The first people that Lily spotted upon walking into the Three Broomsticks, were the Marauders, sans Remus. They were speaking in hushed tones and each had heavy bags under their eyelids. Lily felt her earlier suspicions jump to the front of her mind once again as she strode over to them, Mary trailing behind. Unfortunately, also her conversations with Benjy and James from the day before jumped to her mind, and she knew she would have to fill Mary in on the situation and hopefully get some sort of advice, but for now she was curious to know why James looked so exhausted when he had gone to sleep at six o'clock the previous night.

"Hello, boys," She greeted as she got to their table. They all stopped talking at once and turned to face her.

"'Ello, love, what brings you to our table on this fine day?" Sirius asked, grinning cheekily. He promptly flinched, shooting a glare at James, who Lily could only imagine had just kicked his mate from under the table - rather hard, from the expression on Sirius' face. Lily glanced behind her to see if Mary was still there, but her friend had gone over to the bar and was speaking to the person behind the bar. She turned back to the Marauders, specifically James.

"Where's Remus? I - wanted to ask him about the Defense Against the Dark Arts assignment. I thought he'd be back by now." She improvised quickly, shocked again at how she was able to simply conjure up a story as though she did this for a living.

James looked a little uncomfortable and shot a look at Peter, who seemed to be attempting to make some sort of misshapen origami figure out of his napkin.

"His aunt still isn't well, I suppose," he muttered, spinning his mug of butterbeer around a ring that was left in the table from somebody keeping a drink in one spot for too long. Sirius nodded fervently in agreement.

"Speaking of Defense Against the Dark Arts, I haven't even started that homework!" Sirius said hurriedly in a rather louder voice than his usual one - which was fairly loud to begin with. "And I want to save some of this butterbeer for Kreacher." Sirius got a scheming look upon his face, "the nasty little blighter gets hammered with just a few drops." He stood up and procured a flask from his robes, which he poured the remainder of his butterbeer into. James jumped up as well and Peter sidled out of the bench and stood up with his friends.

"We should probably get going then, I told Peter here I'd help him with his transfiguration tonight. See you, Lily!" Before Lily could gather her thoughts, they trio was making their way out of the pub and Mary was walking toward her with two butterbeers.

There was _absolutely_ something going on, and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

"What was _that_ all about?" Mary inquired, sliding into the seat Sirius had just been occupying and pushing the other butterbeer across the table, where Lily slowly sat down.

"I dunno... Oh well. I'm sure it's just them being weird or something," Lily hated lying to Mary, but she didn't feel she could tell her what was going through her mind - not when Mary had a massive crush on the person Lily was so suspicious about. And besides, she didn't even know if she was just being ridiculous or if there was something to be suspicious about in the first place. Now seemed as good a time as any to switch the topic to the Benjy situation.

"Remember how Benjy Fenwick and I used to go out a bit last year?" She took a small sip of her butterbeer, enjoying the warmth of it as it traveled down into her stomach.

"Yes," Mary said slowly, clearly curious as to where this was going. Lily sighed and took another sip of butterbeer.

"Well, he sort of asked me to the Hallwe'en Ball. I meant to tell him that I wasn't interested, but -" She felt her face reddening already, " - I accidentally told him I was going to the dance with James." She waited for Mary's shock to settle in, as her friend's mouth was opened slightly, and she imagined if she were in a cartoon, her jaw would be lying on the table.

"You said you were going with _Potter_? Why him?" She appeared to be genuinely curious, and not to be mocking her, so Lily shrugged.

"Well, I knew I couldn't ask Remus for obvious reasons. Frank is with Alice now, I considered Peter afterword, but it hadn't occurred to be at the time. I'd rather kiss a Hippogryff than ask Sirius, and James is my friend now, so... I dunno, he was the first person I thought of."

"What did he say? You _did_ tell him, right?" Mary seemed to have forgotten about drinking her butterbeer, though she was clutching its handle so that her knuckles were turning white.

Lily nodded, and glanced around the pub quickly; she felt as though the Marauders were listening to her every word somehow and were laughing at her or something - or even worse, what if Benjy was sitting in here? Nobody was there though that she recognized, so she answered her friend finally.

"Yes, I told him last night. He said that he'll pretend to be my -" She searched for a synonym, but couldn't find one. "- date," she finished more quietly. "So now I feel awful for tricking Benjy, and strange to be asking James to pretend to be going with me to the dance - even if it is just as a friend." She wanted to make clear to Mary that this was a friendship thing, nothing else. At least it wasn't as though she was making him pretend to be her boyfriend. She almost laughed out loud at that concept. Lily and James, even pretending to be together was a laughable idea.

-:-

"She was absolutely suspicious!" James muttered as he, Sirius and Peter made their way toward the castle. "You don't understand; she's been asking me strange questions a lot lately. She's not an idiot, Padfoot. She's going to catch on sooner or later unless we think of a better way to sneak out."

Sirius shook his head, pulling his robes more tightly around his body to ward off the cold air. "We've only got one more night this month, and next month you'll be back in the Gryffindor tower. It'll be fine. In fact, why don't you wait an extra hour or two tonight? I can handle Big Bad Moony for a little bit while you grace Evans with your presence, and Wormtail's got the knot in the tree. No worries, mate."

James shrugged grudgingly; it seemed the only way he was going to perhaps get Lily off of his back about Remus. "All right, I suppose we can do it just tonight."

xxx

Hi, all, thank you to those who left a review on last chapter! They brightened my day =) If you have a moment to spare, please drop a review for this one. Thanks! And for my fellow Americans, hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday.


	10. Ten Steps Back

**Last Chapter:**

"Yes, I told him last night. He said that he'll pretend to be my -" She searched for a synonym, but couldn't find one. "- date," she finished more quietly. "So now I feel awful for tricking Benjy, and strange to be asking James to pretend to be going with me to the dance - even if it is just as a friend." She wanted to make clear to Mary that this was a friendship thing, nothing else. At least it wasn't as though she was making him pretend to be her boyfriend. She almost laughed out loud at that concept. Lily and James, even pretending to be together was a laughable idea.

 **Disclaimer:**

Not mine. Anything you recognize belongs to the lovely and talented Mrs. Rowling.

-:-

Lily meandered through the corridors. She was happy to be able to have the Head's quarters to herself, so that she could settle down and get some classwork done while there weren't any distractions. However, at the same time she was dreading the total solitude of an empty common room. Having gone to a boarding school for so many years, it was the usual to be surrounded by other people, and she'd always found that comforting. Alone time was nice, but not all of the time.

Finally coming up on the entrance hole, she decided she'd put her dress away before getting straight to work, and climbed into the common room, which was, as earlier mentioned, supposed to be empty. However, a messy-haired boy was sprawled across the overstuffed couch, his glasses on the desk next to him, focused on a book which lay before him. Was James Potter _studying?_

No, no. Of course he wasn't. As Lily came closer, she noted that it was indeed a quidditch manual that he was focused on so intently. Lily coughed purposefully.

"What happened to tutoring Peter?"

"He catches on quick." James grabbed his glasses and put them on his face before he even looked up at Lily, and gave her a charming smile. One that was _so_ not going to work on her. She sighed exaggeratedly, exasperated, and draped her dress neatly over the unoccupied armchair. He was not about to break, she could tell, but she was tired of being patient. She wanted to know what was going on with the four delinquents. She decided to take a different approach.

"I thought you went to sleep at seven last night?" She asked, tone intentionally sweet.

This finally elicited the desired response. Utter confusion. "Er, yeah ... why?"

"It just seems odd that you have such dark circles under your eyes. You look like you haven't slept a wink in days."

James shrugged, glancing back down at his quidditch manual. "What are you playing at?"

"I want to know what you're hiding!" Lily didn't have the guts to mention that she knew it was about Remus, and immediately regretted even confronting him. She hadn't a drop of evidence that wasn't circumstantial.

"I don't know what you're talking about!

Lily inhaled deeply before continuing, not eager on getting into another row with him. However, she could not back down now that she'd begun. "Yes you do, James. Why can't you trust me?"

James averted his eyes, caught off guard by her sudden calmness, and finally looked back up at her. "It's... complicated. And it's not my business to tell. I _do_ trust you, but this isn't my secret to reveal." There was a pleading note in his voice that begged she let the matter go.

"It's Remus,'" Lily whispered, it wasn't a question, and she felt bad for pushing further, but she couldn't help it, her curiosity had been ignited

James was mortified. She knew. He hadn't told her a thing, but she already knew. His eyes grew wide with panic as the infamous James Potter was again lost for words. Why was Lily Evans the only one who could do that to him? It was beginning to infuriate him.

" _Please,_ Lily, stop. It's none of your business. And just let it go, don't tell anybody whatever it is you're thinking." _I'll be damned if I'm the reason Remus has to switch out of Hogwarts._

Lily's expression quickly grew irritated, "Don't insult me, Potter. You really believe that I would go about telling?" Her hands were on her hips in her signature symbol of anger. _How dare he think I would ever go running my mouth about Remus!?_ she seethed.

James jumped up, tossing his quidditch manual on the tea table carelessly. "Just leave him alone, Lily."

He had regained his composure, and was careful not to look at the object of his annoyance as he slammed the door to his room shut.

"Why don't you put some funny shoes on and make yourself an elf?"

Mary was touching up the final touches of her faerie costume for the hallowe'en ball, and looked rather convincing, translucent wings and all. Lily, however, was still standing in front of the full length mirror of the Gryffindor girls' common room, wand held loosely in hand, as she had been for the past hour or so.

"But that's insulting to the house elves." She threw Mary a disapproving glance, which inadvertently morphed into one of awe as she took in her friend's beauty in the perfect costume. "I should just go as an uncreative ginger." She wrinkled her nose and finally turned away from the mirror, unhappy.

"A nymph?" Mary suggested, tugging at her hair in an attempt to decide what to do with it.

"Are those even green?" Lily questioned, trying to remember what exactly they were. "Maybe I should be a tree?" Mary let out a mock of a laugh and shook her head, finally deciding to simply curl her hair and pull part of it up while the rest lay on her shoulders.

"Whatever you decide, you'd best hurry up. You have to be down there in forty minutes and you haven't touched your dress or hair!" Now that Mary had torn her eyes from the mirror she was able to focus more completely on Lily. "How 'bout a gnome?"

"A gnome!? Aren't those ugly little men?"

Lily suddenly saw herself wearing an absurd red hat and sitting on a mushroom. "Not a gnome," She shook her head violently.

"Ooh!" Mary jumped up, curls bouncing. "A pixie!"

"A - Oh. Okay then." She couldn't think of a decent excuse why not and really did have to start getting ready if she wished to arrive to the ball on time - which unfortunately seeing as this was all her idea, was quite necessary

-:-

"What are you?" It wasn't that Lily didn't see perfectly well exactly what he was, it was only that she was embarrassed to even know the boy, let alone be going as his date. It was easier for her to take in the sight if she believed perhaps her eyes were mistaken. "Must you? How do you even know who he _is?_ "

"Remus gave me the idea, isn't it fantastic?" He flipped his hair and grinned ridiculously.

"Remus? Remind me to hit him when I see him next." Lily tore her eyes away, not eager to see any more, and hiding a small amused smile. Standing before her, was a bizarre tribute to Elvis Presley. White bellbottoms and all. And of course the absurd belt and the sequins and Merlin, how embarrassing. It was really an impressive bit of transfiguration, but she'd overlook that in her disgust.

"What are _you_ , a faerie princess?" James questioned, raising a single eyebrow. She couldn't tell if he was teasing her or not, so she simply let an indignant expression cover her face as she shook her head.

"A pixie, can't you tell?" She finally smiled, but it turned sour again when she realized she'd be spending the night walking around with The King.

Just as she was about to have another go at his costume, another king revealed himself from the boys staircase.

"Let me guess, King Arthur?" Mary quipped from behind Lily, finally taking the last step down herself.

Sirius looked affronted underneath his ludicrously frilly shirt. "I," He said dramatically, "am Henry VIII ... He was the one with all of those wives, right?" For a moment he was unsure.

"Not at the same time!" Mary corrected, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, he made sure he beheaded them first," Lily added disapprovingly. That wasn't completely true. Only for a few were actually beheaded - Anne Boleyn leaped to mind presently, but he surely wasn't that well versed in the history of English nobility anyway.

A rather loud banging noise distracted the group as father christmas came bouncing down the staircase, Frankenstein hurrying after him in a comical display.

"All right, Peter?" Sirius managed through his figure-shuddering laughter. He put out a strong hand and dragged his jolly friend upright once more as Frankenstein edged around them.

"Merlin, Remus, you really put in the effort!" Lily managed as soon as she recognized him, which was a difficult thing to do; he had charmed his skin a greyish green and wondered if the screws jutting from his neck weren't really embedded in his skin. "See, that's a costume worthy of the competition!"

-:-

Walking into the Great Hall arm in arm with James (who insisted on entering like this, being the pain in the arse that he has always been) really was not so bad as Lily had dreaded. They were among the first to arrive, but the people who were already there not only paid little attention to the pair, but seemed to be rather enjoying themselves. Lily was elated that their first Head-Student-organized event seemed to be going smoothly. Very few Slytherin students had made an appearance, with the exception of the four Slytherin prefects, who were warned that their absence would risk their position as prefects.

After fluttering about for over an hour to make sure everything was going well and collecting all of the ballots for the best costume, Lily finally allowed herself to relax; it was the sixth-year prefects' jobs to count up all of the votes and announce the costume winners in each category, so her job for the night was finished. She tugged at her pixie costume, wishing she had chosen something more comfortable - she was in envy of Alice, who had decided to dress as an ancient greek, and looked rather comfortable in her dress-like toga.

Sitting at a table next to Isabelle Hopkins, was a rather bored looking Mary, sans shoes. Knowing her friend, Lily figured she'd shed the shoes out of discomfort during dancing, which she had been doing off and on throughout the night. She plopped down gratefully in an empty chair next to Mary, sighing heavily in exhaustion. It was nice to put on this dance, but certainly more work than she had predicted.

"What's the matter?" She asked in a tone soft enough so as not to be overheard by the gossipy Isabelle, who was chatting away with a group of hufflepuffs nearby.

Mary tugged at a mahogany curl, shrugging. "Nothing, I've just had enough of Angela." Her eyes drifted traitorously toward Frankenstein, who was dancing next to Sirius, Peter and James in some ridiculous muggle fashion that Lily had never even understood herself. James caught her eye as she looked but she quickly averted her gaze back to Mary.

"Mary, why don't you ask him to dance or anything? We're all friends, he wouldn't say no," she offered reasonably, wondering if the fear of rejection was stopping her friend. Not entirely surprisingly, Mary was mortified.

"I- I can't!" Her face flushed very quickly and she buried it in her hands. "Isn't that the point though? We're just friends, that's all we'll ever be, I suppose, as I'm too cowardly to say anything, and he hardly likes me at all. He's just polite." She sighed heavily, and Lily made a face; she wanted her best friend to be happy, they were at a ball! She jumped up, pulling her friend by the arms.

"Let's go dance then, we don't need boys anyway," She smiled and Mary couldn't help but smile back in resignation; she couldn't stay unhappy for long.

An hour and several dances later (including a very awkward one with Benjy - why did he even bother?) the two cheerful but very footsore girls made their way back to the table. Quickly, Mary was dragged into a feverish debate that Alice and a girl named Lianne were having, and Lily felt her mind wandering. Mary's boy troubles reminded her of her own. Why didn't she seem to be interested in anybody? She stared blatantly at Sirius for a moment. No doubt, he was a very handsome individual, but why wasn't she attracted to him? Was it because she knew what a goof he was? She turned to another Gryffindor, Jack Wood. He, too, was a fairly attractive boy, why wasn't she attracted to him either?

Frustrated, she rested her head on top of her arms which were draped across the back of the chair in which she sat. This had been fun for a while but now she was just tired and wanted nothing more than to go up to sleep.

"Hey Lily, can we talk?" Lily lifted her head to see Elvis had abandoned his friends to come talk to her. Lily shrugged, unsure of why he was asking if he could talk to her.

"Talk away," She gestured to a nearby unoccupied chair, but James shook his head.

"Can we go for a walk?" His hazel eyes were glazed with uncertainty and it was with a light feeling of worry that Lily got up from her chair, not bothering to interrupt Mary's debate proctoring to tell her friend what she was up to. Perhaps James had decided to tell her about Remus after all.

They left the Great Hall unnoticed, and were heading toward the castle entrance before Lily spoke. "Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all. It was just - loud in there." James ran a hand through his messy hair involuntarily. The music had been a mix of wizard and muggle music and it was nice to hear something familiar to her life back home.

"Oh," She realized that she'd never actually had a real conversation with James, not one that didn't somehow have to do with school or Head duties or Death Eaters, sometimes the occasional small talk, but she wasn't much of a conversationalist, and this felt strange. They made their way outside after a few moment of chatting about the dance and how intoxicated Sirius had managed to get off of bootlegged firewhiskey.

"What are we?" James asked suddenly as they made their way across the empty courtyard, Lily grabbing at her elbows for warmth.

"Er... human beings?" Lily suggested, confused by the question. Not entirely, but she would rather pretend to be confused than deal with the actual answer.

James laughed a little more quietly than usual (which was still pretty loud), and shook his head. "You know what I mean." He stopped, and Lily felt herself becoming oddly uncomfortable. This wasn't like when he asked her out all of those years, it was much different. They were friends now. Good friends even. She didn't want to ruin it.

"It's very cold out here," She pointed out. It was true; her arms were covered in goosebumps and she shivered each time the wind blew. Suddenly, James closed the space between them, and soon his soft lips brushed against hers in a gentle kiss. Just as suddenly as he had closed the space though, he stepped away again, dropping his head. Lily's face was suddenly burning and she no longer felt the cold as a whirlwind of emotions flowed through her. Oddly, a strangely lovely one was among the top, and her stomach flopped wildly.

"I'm sorry; that was completely inappropriate. I just-" he broke off, feeling extraordinarily stupid, for all he had just lived out his most treasured desire since second year. "I meant to say-" Lily wanted to ease his awkwardness, but she could not bring herself to speak. Her mind had yet to process what had just occurred.

"I just wanted to say, I think I might - like you. More than - You know." Terrified by Lily's speechlessness, James lapsed into his most common defense mechanism: humor. "Just thought I'd throw it out there."

Lily dragged words to the fore of her mind, unable still to think clearly. "We should get back to announce the winners," without looking back at him, she walked quickly into the castle, desperate to compose herself. What had that been?

James remained outside for several long moments, kicking himself mentally. What the bloody hell had possessed him to do that?

 _Shit, I've just ruined everything. She hates me now._


	11. Friendship and Firewhiskey

_**Last Chapter:**_

Lily dragged words to the fore of her mind, unable still to think clearly. "We should get back to announce the winners," without looking back at him, she walked quickly into the castle, desperate to compose herself. What had that been?

James remained outside for several long moments, kicking himself mentally. What the bloody hell had possessed him to dothat?

 _Shit, I've just ruined everything. She hates me now._

* * *

For the next week after the Hallowe'en Ball, Lily and James had taken twenty steps back in their relationship. Their friendship had taken an awkward downward turn and was spiraling further by the time they finally had their next meeting with the prefects. The two had hardly spoke to one another and Lily would promptly flee the premises if James appeared to be approaching her. She knew it was her fault, really, despite what she tried to tell herself. Why hadn't she said something? Anything! Why didn't she tell him how she really felt? How did she really feel, anyway? Shaking her head as though the act could physically jostle the irksome thoughts from her mind, Lily let her head rest on her arms as she waited out the prefect meeting, only speaking when it was unavoidable. She felt ridiculous, acting so odd just because of one awkward moment. She knew she was acting like a child, but somehow just couldn't stop herself. Why couldn't she just pretend it had never happened and go on with her life?

She knew the reason, really, in her heart. However, it was one of those things that was easier to avoid - just like it had been easy to avoid James all week, waking up ludicrously early in order to keep from seeing him in the Heads' Dorms, and turning in equally early at night. To some, it seemed ridiculous (Mary, for example, was absolutely addle pated by her behavior and criticized her friend consistently in the hopes of bringing her into a sane mental capacity once more.) For Lily, though, this made perfect sense. At least, it was the most sensible option she had access to at the moment. To her, it was so difficult to act like it hadn't been a big deal, because she actually had come to like James, as a friend - and maybe even more, but she couldn't understand it. She didn't like the idea of not being able to organize her emotions into neat little sections. With James, it was all over the place. Besides, hadn't he said that he didn't even like her anymore? Why the change of heart? Or had he been lying when he said that? Maybe he was lying this time, and really didn't like her still. But weren't they friends?

Lily sighed heavily, and several prefects turned to her.

"Do you not like that idea? I suppose we could reorganize the premise ..." It was a Ravenclaw girl, Emmaline Vance.

"The what?" Lily snapped back to reality, but realized quickly that she didn't care what they were talking about, she wasn't in the mood. This was horrible! Usually these meetings were a highlight of her week, but this time that was certainly not the case. "Oh, nevermind, no, I think that it's fine how it is," she recovered, hoping that they wouldn't prolong the meeting

"Oh. Oh, okay then. Good." The girl eyed her, suspicious, but continued on once again without much hesitation.

Before long, the prefects were trickling out of the meeting, most whispering about their Head Girl's odd behavior. But Lily didn't mind; she hardly noticed at all. Indeed, she believed that she was the last one in the room, and put her head down in her arms. She wanted to cry, or scream, or something similarly pathetic. What was happening to her? She didn't welcome any of these emotions coursing through her, it was too much to process. Still, she couldn't even cry - there were so many thoughts and feelings within her that she wondered if this was the real reason why people spontaneously combusted. That was when she heard something shift from behind her. She jumped in the alarmed way that one tends to do when they believe they are alone, but are mistaken.

A look of complete mortification passed over her face as she realized just who was still in the room with her. She tried to say something, but her voice hardly came out. She cleared her throat, and tried again.

"Why are you still here?" She was very impressed by how composed her voice sounded. Her face, surely, her eyes, had to betray her true feelings. But her voice - it sounded perfect, strong.

James looked down at his hands, and spoke slowly, as though she were a doe about to run away at any sudden movement.

"I wanted to talk to you," he said carefully. "Please," he added, sincerity in his hazel eyes.

Lily wanted to stand up and storm out of the room. She wanted to scream at him. She wanted to tell him that he ruined everything.

No she didn't. But again - it was easier to tell herself that. She knew none of this was his fault.

"Talk away," She said, still speaking evenly. She folded her arms on the table and waited for him to speak.

"I'm - sorry. I'm really sorry. I don't know why I did that - I didn't mean to - to... I dunno. I didn't mean it, and I really don't want to ruin our friendship. Can't we just ... pretend that never happened? I mean, why haven't you even spoken a _word_ to me?" It was as though a dam had broken, and the words kept flowing without thoughts attached to them - he was just saying everything that passed through his mind. Lily pursed her lips, ready to tell him everything she had been going over in her mind. Sometimes, though, she felt as though someone had drugged her with Veritaserum. It was as though she was incapable of lying to those who she was afraid to hurt.

"I don't know. I just don't know. I was ... embarrassed." She turned away from him and acted as though she was worried that her robes were caught in the chair. Really, she just couldn't stand the look he was giving her. He was already hurt.

"Embarrassed?" He managed, clearly confused, it was easy to tell even without looking at him. Of all of the emotions he had been imagining she was having, embarrassment hadn't made the list of possibilities in his mind at all. "Why?"

"I dunno, James. It just ... was a lot all at once. It was so sudden. I - I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm sorry, I know it isn't fair." Lily stood up from her chair, and tugged at her skirt to straighten it. She could feel her cheeks growing warm.

"Do you like me?" James questioned, wanting to touch her arm, to bring her gaze back up to him - but he didn't. She would probably run off if he stepped even a centimeter closer to her.

Lily didn't look up from her skirt; she was now examining its every crease. "Of course, I mean, you're a - nice guy," She said stammered evasively.

"Nice enough to go back and be friends?" James prayed too much of his hopefulness didn't shine through his vocal tone, and was careful to keep his voice even.

"Sure," Lily looked up at him, finally, feeling that perhaps she should pull herself together and be mature. To have a truce is the responsible thing to do, anyway. Besides, she had never really been angry at him.

James couldn't hold back his lop-sided grin, and his hazel eyes were shining happily. "I suppose it would be completely inappropriate to hug you, right?"

Lily snorted and closed the space between them, wrapping her arms around him in a friendly hug.

-:-

"Congrats, Jamesie! See, I knew she couldn't stay away from you forever - just look at that cute face!" Sirius gave both of James' cheeks a painful pinch, like some grandmother to her chubby little grandson.

"Arrgh! Pads, gerrof!" James swatted his best mates' hands away from his face and backed up several paces. Peter snorted and Remus let a small smile slip across his face. The Marauders were sitting lazily in their dormitory room, with James sitting on Remus' bed, Sirius hovering next to it, and Remus and Peter leaning against it on the floor. James had just explained how he was now on speaking terms with Lily again, and Sirius seemed to think of this as a reason to celebrate. Truthfully, Sirius just wanted to celebrate, and didn't care what the occasion was. He stepped over to his trunk and banged different things around until he found something and pulled it out, grinning ridiculously.

"Padfoot, is that firewhiskey?" James snorted and allowed himself to fall onto his back in Remus' bed, sighing heavily at his mad friend.

"Sirius, it's four o'clock in the afternoon!" Remus admonished, though he couldn't keep the smile from his face. If Sirius had his mind set on firewhiskey, it didn't matter what time it was.

"So what? I'm in the mood to get pissed!" He laughed, popping the cork off with magic.

Remus rolled his eyes, not bothering to remind his friend that it was very difficult to get drunk on one bottle of firewhiskey, especially when the person attempting to get drunk had a tolerance as high as Sirius'. It was no use reasoning with a madman.

James pulled himself off of the bed and grabbed his wand, transfiguring some nearby pieces of parchment into four glasses. If you couldn't beat him, you may as well join him. Besides, firewhiskey sounded really nice just about now.

-:-

"It was about time," Mary muttered, walking next to Lily in the courtyard. It was a beautiful day and the smell of fresh air and green grass permeated the air in the way that usually followed a fall shower.

Lily pursed her lips, but forced herself not to say the first thing to pop into her mind. _Mary is right!_

"How immature was I being?" She finally managed, her voice squeaking a bit in her unease. She knew the answer even before her honest friend opened her mouth.

"Very. I wanted to beat you over the head with my broomstick, actually." She grinned goofily. "Besides, how old are you, Lils. You act like you've never kissed a boy before." She rolled her eyes, knowing that this wasn't the case at all. Lily was far from being someone who hopped from boyfriend to boyfriend, but she had certainly kissed a couple of boys. Still, this had been different.

"It's not the same, though, it's James. James Potter. Remember what I used to think of him? Not that I do anymore, but ugh, I'm not interested in him like that, and I don't want it to ruin our friendship." She looked down at her feet for a moment, and Mary let out a little shriek. Lily jumped, looking up wildly.

"Lily!" Mary had stopped walking and was staring openly at her new friend as though looking with new eyes. "You fancy James Potter?" She said the last part quietly enough so that nearby younger years wouldn't hear. Lily was a little lost for words as she ran over her previous sentence in her mind. When had she mentioned fancying James Potter?

"I never said that! And Shhhhhhh!" She snapped, glancing around as though she were being stalked.

Mary's knowing grin spread across her face. "You didn't have to. First, you do that look. THEN, you deny it vehemently. And shush me. Three reasons why you fancy James Potter."

"What 'look' - " she began, before sighing hopelessly. Arguing with Mary on a point that she was sure she was correct on, was like attempting to take down the Berlin Wall using exclusively bananas and plastic sporks. It just was useless.

"I - don't know what I think." Lily admitted, knowing she was about to get a full-on shrink session with Mary for the next hour.

xxx

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	12. Letters

**Hi, all!** Thank you SO SO much to those of you who reviewed! It was so nice to hear from some people who haven't said hello yet, and I'm so happy some of you are enjoying this as much as I enjoy writing it! Special thank you to the anonymous guest who wrote two reviews, and to Mrs PJ Mellark, who took the time to leave a review during a study break! I hope that you did well on your law exams, and thank you so much for your review!

 ** _Last Chapter:_** "Lily!" Mary had stopped walking and was staring openly at her new friend as though looking with new eyes. "You fancy James Potter?" She said the last part quietly enough so that nearby younger years wouldn't hear. Lily was a little lost for words as she ran over her previous sentence in her mind. When had she mentioned fancying James Potter?

"I never said that! And Shhhhhhh!" She snapped, glancing around as though she were being stalked.

Mary's knowing grin spread across her face. "You didn't have to. First, you do that look. THEN, you deny it vehemently. And shush me. Three reasons why you fancy James Potter."

"What 'look' - " she began, before sighing hopelessly. Arguing with Mary on a point that she was sure she was correct on, was like attempting to take down the Berlin Wall using exclusively bananas and plastic sporks. It just was useless.

* * *

Lily sat at her small desk, dusting her quill against her nose, re-reading the letter for what had to be the thirty-sixth time. She was searching for some sort of hidden meaning - something that actually wasn't there at all.

 _Hi Lily,_

 _Thank you for the necklace. It's pretty._

 _-Petunia_

Surely it was just something their mother had forced Petunia to write, and Lily felt a small pang of sadness rip through her chest. Even though she set herself up for the disappointment, it was still painful to only get this letter. Lily had spent a significant amount of her money on Petunia's birthday gift, and probably wouldn't be able to buy sweets for the next four months because of the sacrifice. Why didn't Petunia ever appreciate anything? Why was Lily being punished for something that was out of her control? It probably would have been easier if Petunia had just sent nothing. Then perhaps Lily could pretend it was lost in the post, or that her sister was so ecstatic that she had forgotten to write a thank-you note. Or more, that it was just so normal for them to be nice to one another that Petunia didn't find it necessary to write such a note. Right.

Lily carefully folded the letter and placed it in her letter box with all of her own unsent letters and a certain singed photograph. She pulled out a fresh piece of parchment and scribbled a letter of her own.

 _Tuney,_

 _You're very welcome. How was your birthday? Did you get anything good? I can't wait to see you again, and I hope you're well._

 _Lots of Love,_

 _Lily_

She folded the letter quickly, perhaps a bit more violently than actually necessary, but this time she proceeded to crumple up the paper and throw it into the waste basket. Why did she keep doing this? She probably had some undiagnosed mental disorder. Lovely.

Along with the very short letter from her sister, was a much more lengthy one from her mother. It filled in the gaps that Petunia's letter had left - how lovely Petunia's birthday dinner was and what Vernon had bought her and how the cat had jumped on the table and eaten the pudding. Mum at least thought Lily's gift was thoughtful and lovely. At least it was something. It ended by asking how Lily was faring and if she had managed not to throttle Potter yet - that made her chuckle a bit.

Lily picked up her quill again and another fresh parchment. She wrote her mum a quick letter to let her know that she was doing very well, getting along with James, and was thrilled that Petunia had a good birthday party. She sealed the letter, marked it 'mum' and pushed open the door to the Heads' common room.

"Hey Lily, where're you off too?" James seemed to have been in the process of attempting to will his homework into existence rather than actually write his Defense Against the Dark Arts essay, and was all too eager to be distracted from the monotony. Lily shot a glance toward the darkening sky, pushing thoughts of the last time she made this trek out of her mind. Her stomach was doing odd flips, and she wasn't sure if it was due to the trauma from her last Owlry trip, or perhaps something else that Mary would be very quick to implicate.

"I'm heading to the Owlry to send a letter to my family."

"May I accompany you, my fair lady?" It was clear from the momentarily alarmed expression that passed over his face that his mind had also flashed back to the last time she had been heading off to the Owl Post. It had ended okay, but was fairly terrifying for the both of them. Despite James' joking tone, it was easy to see that he was anxious to go with her.

"I don't need a baby-sitter, James." Lily muttered, a little affronted. She could take care of herself. She had just been a little... frazzled, that last time. Usually she was far more aware of her surroundings, but she didn't want to sound overly defensive, because that only made her look like she was making pathetic attempts to rationalize her behavior. Of course, that was what she was trying to do, but James didn't have to know that.

"Do I really look like the baby-sitting type? Merlin, nobody would let me around their _children!_ " The scandalized look that passed over his face was positively outrageous, and Lily couldn't hold back a small snort of laughter. "I simply wished to be graced by the pleasure of your company." He smiled charmingly, eyes sparkling innocently. Lily shrugged after a moment of deliberation, resigned. Really, there was no legitimate reason for her to refuse his company, aside from her own pride.

"Excellent." James' smile grew even more ecstatic as he followed her into the hallway. For a few moments, there was an awkward silence between them. Well, Lily thought it was awkward, at least. James happened to think it was quite a comfortable one, and finally broke it when Lily started to fold the corners of her letter without realizing what exactly she was doing.

"What's your favorite animal?" He asked suddenly. Lily blinked several times, confused. Where had that come from?

"Erm... what do you mean?" She asked slowly - perhaps there was some bizarre deep meaning to his odd query? She couldn't fathom what.

"You know," he laughed, "Dog, horse, platypus?" Lily snorted, still unable to understand what he was playing at. Oh well, she could play along, she supposed.

"Er, I think probably cats," She said finally, she liked their independence, and grace. They enjoyed solitude and were not dependent on others for the most part. They also seemed to be very intelligent creatures. She told James as much, unsure of why exactly he was so strangely curious. "So what's your favourite animal?" She fired back, suddenly curious herself.

"Deer. They're so dainty but very strong and fast and agile - you wouldn't believe how interesting they are." His eyes were twinkling as though there was some sort of joke involved in this statement, but Lily brushed it off as typical Jameslike behavior.

"Interesting, eh?" Lily questioned, genuinely surprised by his response. She had expected a more aggressive or larger animal to be James' favorite one, not something as dainty, to use his words, as a deer. "Tell me one fact about deer, if you think they're so interesting," she challenged, though she was more curious than anything. What else didn't she know about James Potter?

"Oh, there are so many. Do you know that they have four stomachs? They also have a 310 degree field of vision. And, the babies have white spots." Lily glanced over at the boy next to her, whose hazel eyes were alight as he went on about his deer facts, feeling like she was staring at a stranger. Her mind was trying to process this aspect of James and how it fit in with his jokester, trouble making personality. Without giving her much time for reflection, though, he started up again. "What's your favorite number?"

Lily bit her lip, what was with the interrogation? And such strange questions... though she couldn't say she wasn't enjoying it. Her favorite number? She always liked the number five. And seven. "I suppose five. Why? Are you trying to psychoanalyze me or something?" She shot at him, figuring he must have some sort of ulterior motive. Afterall, he was James Potter.

"Psycho- what?" A look of such utter bewilderment passed over his features that Lily sighed and couldn't help but smile a bit at the image.

"Nevermind - what's _your_ favorite number then, Sherlock Holmes?"

"Who's - oh, nevermind. Thirteen. I think all of that bad luck bullsh-" Lily shot him an intense look "- dung. Bull dung. Right. Anyway, I think you make your own luck. My dad always says, ' the harder you work, the luckier you are.'" James pulled open the door leading up to the Owlry, bowing extravagantly. Lily laughed and hoped he dismissed her slight blush as just a response to the exertion of walking so far. Huh. Hard work. Lily wondered if James Potter had ever really worked hard for anything - he was handsome, intelligent, popular, wealthy... Did he believe what his father said on faith, or did he really work harder than he let on? On what?

She pushed the thought aside and thanked him with a small smile for holding the door. He could act like a right little gentleman sometimes. It was a shame he was usually joking around, as he was now.

In a few moments time the pair was heading back to the common rooms, James still asking Lily question after random question. Then, just after the pair had made their way down the staircase from the Owlry, they lapsed once again into a silence. This time, however, it was mutually comfortable. The dark hallway was bathed only in the soft light of the crescent moon - it was easy to tell that winter was quickly approaching, with nightfall coming earlier and earlier each day. Lily bit her lip as the issue that had been bothering her so much lately lurched back into the fore of her mind - Remus. She knew bringing up the subject was going to most probably make him lose his rag, but now was as good a moment as ever - it wasn't as though he was apt to run off or anything.

"James? Er... is Remus ... okay?" She couldn't bring herself to say anything more, and cursed her own cowardice. Things were going well with James, and in this moment she realized that she didn't want to change that.

James' relaxed stance quickly stiffened minutely, and his voice dropped until it was barely audible. "Remus is perfectly well... Why do the paintings even pretend to sleep, it's not as though they are even capable of sleeping, anyway. I suppose they just enjoy eavesdropping, is all. Look at that one of the violinist -" He pointed to a painting several metres down the corridor " - The violin in that painting was a Stradivarius owned by a famous wizard violinist, he was my mother's great uncle, isn't it odd? I don't see the resemblance. And of course the musical talent failed to carry over..."

He had gone off on so many tangents that Lily was shocked at how quickly she found herself distracted, but she had gotten the hint quickly: he clearly had something to hide about Remus, but did not wish to discuss it in public when it was a certain possibility that they could be overheard. On the other hand, she couldn't help but wonder about the painting, or the story behind it, as she studied the artwork. The man holding the beautiful instrument was looking intently at a sheet of music, mostly facing away from them, and was moving from side to side as though dancing to a tune in his mind. His dark curly hair was somewhat similar to James' own, but that was where the resemblance appeared to end. She had heard somewhere that most if not all Purebloods were at least vaguely related, she wondered if Sirius and James were themselves related. How very odd. Reluctantly, she decided to let the issue go, for now. But this was only another reason why she knew something was not quite the way it was being made to appear.

"You are actually related to a famous musician? Was he only famous in the wizarding world, or also as a muggle?" She questioned, a little curious.

James shrugged, relaxed now that his distraction had clearly worked. "I think only in the wizarding world. I'm not entirely positive, actually. We could ask him, but we'd probably be stuck here all night." He rolled his eyes and turned down a side corridor that Lily had never gone down in her life. She sighed heavily and paused a moment, but ultimately decided to follow him.

-:-

 _Sirius,_

 _You know how difficult it is for me to ask you this, so please oblige me. I need help with dueling - and today is the only day that I really could do it. Professor Oxley will murder me if I fail my next practical exam, and you know what mum would do._

 _your brother,_

 _R.A.B_

Sirius read over the letter several times, and snorted before crumbling up the paper and pegging it at an unaware Prongs, who had turned his head to talk to the sixth year across the Gryffindor breakfast table. James ignored the paper and finished his conversation, sure that the only person who would throw a piece of paper at him was the one who was indeed the culprit. Sirius rested his chin on his palm, looking absurdly like a moody model posing for a photo shoot. Remus sighed and threw his friend a questioning look.

"My stupid little rat of a brother - er, no offense Wormy," Peter looked up, but clearly hadn't heard what Sirius had just said. "Nevermind. Regulus just sent me an odd letter. Wants me to help him learn how to duel. Funny. Why on God's green earth would I ever be inclined to help the little snot with anything at all? Least of all with something which he could later use against me." He took a deep breath at the completion of his rant, satisfied that he had adequately gotten across his point. Remus remained quiet for a short moment after to make sure Sirius was indeed finished before shrugging.

"He wants you to help him learn how to duel? Does he often ask you such things?" To Remus, this sounded out of place, suspicious even. But what sort of ulterior motives could Regulus possibly have, anyway?

"Never really talks to me, actually," Sirius pushed his glass of pumpkin juice around the tip of his fork, going over it in his mind. Perhaps Regulus and some of his fellow lackeys just wanted to ambush him in the corridor. Whatever his reason, Sirius didn't feel inclined to help his younger brother with anything. He didn't like to talk about it, but he still felt some level of brotherly affection for Regulus. He wished that Regulus wasn't so easily influenced and bullied by their family, but clearly they had made their choices, and Regulus made the wrong one. It wasn't Sirius' problem at this point, as far as he was concerned - telling himself that made him feel better about it, at least.

Remus nodded his head slowly, not completely buying what Regulus had asked. He opened his mouth to speak just as James decided to jump into the conversation, suddenly as ever.

"You don't really plan to skip a Hogsmeade trip for that snaky little brat brother of yours, do you?" He was speaking in that intensely furious voice that somehow managed to still be an undertone low enough not to be heard by too many people. James had an aversion to Regulus that was probably stronger than Sirius' own - he blamed Regulus for not supporting Sirius and for embracing dark magic when he was really too naive to understand it in the first place. This was what Sirius had needed to hear. He picked up a quill and flattened out the letter so that it was a curved and crinkled joke of what it had been originally. He scribbled 'hah.' onto the back of the note, and passed it to the bird.

"Would you bring this to dear Regulus Black for me?" Sirius watched intently as the bird took the note and flew over to the Slytherin table. Regulus stared at the paper solemnly for a moment, and quickly shoved it in his pocket. He brought his eyes up and locked his gaze on Sirius' own gray eyes. The look was a strangely unfamiliar expression on Regulus' face, but growing up with someone, you learn to interpret his every minute facial expression.

Regulus looked terrified.

-:-

Lily glanced over at the calendar, and suddenly closed her eyes to think. How long had she been staying in the Heads' quarters? September, October... it was November already - wasn't she only required to stay here three weeks? When had that turned into three months? Why hadn't anybody mentioned it at all, either? She was a little surprise it was even permitted at all.

The sick part was, Lily didn't want to go back to the regular dormitories. She enjoyed the privacy of the Heads' dorms, and though she wasn't eager to admit it, she enjoyed James' company. How silly! Mary would have a field day with that information - not that she didn't already have it - she just knew better than to bring it up just yet in front of her best friend. Speaking of aforementioned best friend, Lily knew that Mary was waiting for her so that they could go down to Hogsmeade together. She yawned soundlessly and carefully closed her charms textbook - Mary most certainly would not take studying as an excuse for being late to something as exciting to her as a Hogsmeade weekend.

Lily sighed and ran her fingers through her soft hair - it always felt so nice after a nice long hot shower and a drying spell. It smelled lovely as well. She pulled the red waves into a high pony tail and put her wand in her pocket before heading out toward the Great Hall, where she was meeting Mary. James was already long gone, as she noticed as she passed through the very much empty Heads Common Room, a strange unsettling feeling rooted in her chest. She sort of wished she could just stay in and read today, she had one of those feelings that it would be a most enjoyable day to relax the day away in solitude. She was exhausted already, as well, and hoped she would wake up once in the presence of her uppity friend.

* * *

Hey again! Thanks again for those who have been reviewing! It's the most motivating! If you haven't left a review yet and have gotten this far in the story, please say hello! Hope you're all doing well!


	13. Hogsmeade I

Hello, all! I apologize for the long break in writing! I've been in Europe for the holidays and have been seriously slacking! I hope that all of you are doing well, having a great holiday if you celebrate, and haven't forgotten the story in the mean time! Thank you SO much to all who reviewed! Things are starting to heat up in the story now!

 _ **Last Chapter:**_ "Would you bring this to dear Regulus Black for me?" Sirius watched intently as the bird took the note and flew over to the Slytherin table. Regulus stared at the paper solemnly for a moment, and quickly shoved it in his pocket. He brought his eyes up and locked his gaze on Sirius' own gray eyes. The look was a strangely unfamiliar expression on Regulus' face, but growing up with someone, you learn to interpret his every minute facial expression.

Regulus looked terrified.

* * *

Lily sighed and nibbled on a sugar quill, quickly becoming tired of Hogsmeade - not her usual emotion when she got to go out for the monthly trip. Today, though, she was beginning to wish she had simply slept in. The sky was overcast and Mary kept making faces as she experimented with different Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans.

"UGHH! Grass," She explained, eyeing the next green bean suspiciously. "I think I'm going to stick to the red ones - usually they're cherry or strawberry, and the worst they get to be is blood." She made another face, and Lily shook her head - she was not adventurous enough with food to eat Every Flavour Beans, that was for sure - not even the red ones. Mary's face fell quickly, as she examined her best friend's face.

"What's bothering you, Lily?" She asked, carefully re-wrapping her beans and depositing the lot of them in her pocket. Lily shrugged noncommittally, unsure of why she was so down. She felt stressed about school and her future, upset about her family, confused about James, sadness at the idea of graduating, and an impending sense of doom about being let loose into the real world. The terrifying and cruel real world full of Rosiers and Voldemorts. People were dying each and every day - both wizards and muggles. People were beginning to refer to Voldemort as "You-Know-Who" and "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," with rumors flying around that even uttering his name will bring death. Perhaps next it would be one of Lily's friends or family members, then what?

Not wishing to bring down the mood her friend was clearly enjoying, Lily shrugged lightly. "I have a bit of a headache, is all. I should have taken a potion for it but I thought it would get better in the fresh air." She didn't look at Mary's eyes, knowing her friend would spot her lie with ease if given the opportunity.

Before Mary could respond, however, there were several loud cracking noises, and a crashing, clanging cacophony of noise coming from the front of the store and outside the doors.

-:-

Remus pushed his butterbeer from one hand to another, listening to Sirius let off more steam about his brother. He wanted to tell him that he should talk to him instead of ranting about him constantly, but knew how well that particular sentiment would be received. Remus never was one to pass judgment on the choices of his friends when it came to these things, just as he seldom protested even some of their more malicious pranks. The truth was, Sirius, James and Peter all cared a lot about him, and went through a lot for him, in a way that no other person ever had before them. So, he chose not to criticize Sirius' choice of avoiding the source of the problem in favor of letting out his frustration to his mates. Remus took another sip of butterbeer, mostly in order to avoid speaking, but also because he was trying to think of what could have possibly made Regulus ask his brother for help after the pair hadn't spoken in almost two years. Perhaps he had wanted to reconcile?

"Maybe your mum'll kill him when he fails that class he was talking about," Peter remarked a little cheerfully, taking a sip from his own butterbeer. James snorted and shook his head.

"We need to think of a good prank to pull on him. That should make you feel better, right Pads?" Sirius smiled deviously, nodding. His eyes clouded over for a moment, and then lit up.

"Oh, I have the most perfect idea -"

 _CRACK!_

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter all snapped their heads to the source of the sound at the exact same moment. It was an unrecognizeable person - mostly unrecognizeable because of the mask obscuring his face. Remus flew from his booth, Sirius almost crawling over him in his haste to get to the Death Eaters. James whipped out his wand and flew out of his seat as well; what was going on?

-:-

Lily and Mary rushed out through the door of Honeydukes, wands gripped tightly in hands, curious to know what on earth had just happened. In the streets of Hogsmeade, student and citizen alike were running in frenzied patterns, and every few moments a black-cloaked individual with a masked face would fire a curse or hex; a few people fell in the street, only to be trampled over by the terrified mass of people. Lily and Mary exchanged a look that spoke volumes. Were they really being attacked by Death Eaters? So close to Hogwarts, where Dumbledore could come, at any moment? Where were all of the professors, anyway? Why wasn't this situation coming under control?

A third year hufflepuff fell to the ground, and a red streak flew past her hair. She screamed, scrambling up to her feet and continuing her headlong rush. Mary rushed over to her, and gently grabbed onto her arm. "Shush, you're okay, you're okay - look at me. What happened?"

Lily jogged over to them, unsure of what she should be doing. She decided that perhaps she should get all of the children to safety. That was the Head Girl's job, right? But where was safe, and how would she gather everyone to get them there? A shop-keeper came teetering out of his little shop, wand raised high, and pushed past a crowd of tourists, whipping a spell at a nearby Death Eater, who reciprocated. Lily turned to face Mary and the Hufflepuff, knowing they needed to do something, and quickly.

"Lily!" James was sprinting toward she and Mary, Sirius hot on his heels, and Remus and Peter not far behind. A Death Eater took aim at Sirius, but Remus sent an impendiment curse at him and began to duel, Peter staying to help him. James didn't slow down until he reached the three girls.

"We're being attacked by Death Eaters!" he shouted, mind-working furiously for a plan to get students to safety without getting killed. Surely a responsibility of being Head Boy was to look after the other students in a time like this. Mary rolled her eyes, still clutching the shoulder of the Hufflepuff girl.

"Well, yeah, I'd say so, Captain Obvious," She muttered. "What are we doing about it?" She was glancing periodically around to make sure they weren't being ambushed, as Lily found herself doing as well.

"We need to get the lower years away from here. All of the Hogwarts students, actually. And we need to hold them off, until the professors catch word of this. I heard that Dumbledore is away, but I know that Flitwick is here today -" His eyes clouded over again, deep in conflicted thought. "Mary, are you of age?" He had a plan. At least someone did. This thought reassured Lily as much as she could be reassured in this moment, and she listened intently.

Mary nodded slowly, unsure of where he could be possibly going with this. James grabbed her arm, and lifted his wand, nodding to the Hufflepuff girl who Mary was still clutching."Hold on to her! I have a safe place we can take the students." He spun and flicked his wand.

"But James," Mary protested, "You can't apparate into Hogwarts, and we're not supposed to le-" there was a loud crack, and the three were gone.

Sirius shook his head, and Lily felt her jaw literally drop. James had just broken so many school rules, she knew it. For one, he was leaving Hogsmeade, and going Merlin-Knows-Where, and with two other people - one of whom being an underaged student! What would Dumbledore and McGonagall say? She shook her head, thinking that at least no body parts remained behind. Lily turned to Sirius, eyes searching his expression questioningly, but spun around at a sudden voice.

"Well, well, well - if it isn't the white sheep of the Black family." A small, deranged cackle erupted from behind a white mask. Lily whirled around, raising her wand defensively. She didn't recognize the man's voice and couldn't see any part of him that could give away his identity. She wasn't sure what to do - should she curse him? Was that legal? It had to be - self defense, as it were. But then, he hadn't actually attacked them just yet. Technically.

"Lovely, innit?" Sirius gave the man a charming grin and lifted his wand lazily. Lily stood frozen beside him, unsure of what to do next. "You'd best be off, then. Or would you rather try and off me? Come on, show me what you're all about!" Sirius took a step forward and raised his wand a little, the mocking smile not leaving his handsome face.

"Oh your dear mother would be quite cross with me if I were to kill you just now. I doubt she would object to ridding the earth of _that_ scum, though," The Death Eater gestured at Lily, who was flabbergasted. Nobody had ever called her scum! What a ludicrous thing coming from ... that! She took a deep breath, not sure of how to react. She'd never before been insulted by a pureblood supremacist death eater. Sirius beat her to the punch, though; perhaps he was more practiced.

"Touch a single hair on her pretty little head and I'll rip you limb from limb... starting with the delicate parts." He flashed the Death Eater another malevolent smile. Lily assumed that Sirius Black had no frontal lobes whatsoever. If he kept this up he'd lose the rest of his brain, too - and everything attached. She knew that she had to do something. It was better for her to take action, as the situation was clearly dire.

Before Sirius or the Death Eater could get a word out of his mouth, Lily flicked her wand, saying the first spell that leapt to mind - " _Langlock_!" If the Death Eater's tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth, he couldn't say a spell. Immediately afterward, Sirius shouted his own spells.

"S _tupefy! Incarcerous!_ " The Death Eater dropped to his knees and then on his side, before being tied by the ropes from Sirius' wand. Lily looked away, under the pretense of seeing if any other attackers were coming, but really it was that the last spell still made her uncomfortable, remembering the feeling of being bound. Sirius didn't seem to notice her discomfort, or perhaps wrote it off as a normal feeling given the situation. "Wow, Lily - nice one! I've never heard of it, what exactly does it do?"

Lily bit her lip. Sirius hadn't heard of it because Sev had invented it a few years back. "It glues the tongue to the roof of the mouth - a friend of mine made it up." Sirius was clearly curious but cut himself short as another dark figure came running toward them, this time a woman.

"Lily - try and get the younger years to the Hog's Head! I got this one, don't worry!" He whirled around flamboyantly, sending a red slash of light toward the woman, who blocked it easily and sent her own spell back at him; Sirius ducked. The pair danced around one another and Lily caught the site of two younger years running from a side street toward a locked building - she wanted to worry about Sirius, and to help him, but she knew she had to go - it was her duty as Head Girl to keep the younger Hogwarts students safe. She hoped James and Mary were okay, and took one last glance at Sirius, who was now back to back with Remus and another boy she only knew by appearance - and took off toward the younger children to shepherd them over to the Hog's Head. She questioned how a shady establishment like the Hog's Head could possibly be safe, but Sirius had been wearing a look of absolute certainty as he spoke. Without another word, she ran off in the direction of the Hog's Head, scanning the streets for students.

-:-

Hope you enjoyed! Part II should be up shortly after I return from the holidays, sorry for the cliffie! Please review if you've made it this far! =)


	14. Felix and Tom

**Last Chapter:** "Lily - try and get the younger years to the Hog's Head! I got this one, don't worry!" He whirled around, sending a red slash of light toward the woman, who blocked it easily and sent her own spell back at him; Sirius ducked. The pair danced around one another and Lily caught the site of two younger years running from a side street toward a locked building - she wanted to worry about Sirius, and to help him, but she knew she had to go - it was her duty as Head Girl to keep the younger years safe. She hoped James and Mary were safe, and took one last glance at Sirius, who was now back to back with Remus and another boy she only knew by appearance - and took off toward the younger children to shepherd them over to the Hog's Head. She questioned how the Hog's Head could possibly be safe, but Sirius had been wearing a look of absolute certainty as he spoke. Without another word, she ran off in the direction of the Hog's Head, scanning the streets for students.

Thank you SO SO MUCH to all of those who always stick by and read/review! You're special to me! Special shout out to YouBlitheringIdiot and ElizabethAnneSoph, who always leave feedback, even when I am the worst and make you all wait too long for an update! Hope you all enjoy! xo

* * *

Lily scrambled about Hogsmeade, gathering students as she went and shepherding them toward the Hog's Head. Emmaline Vance, a poorly-concealed expression of blind-terror flaming behind her cerulean eyes, came jogging through the chaos to meet her.

"Where are all of the professors?" she demanded, probably not intending for it to sound rude. Not that Lily even registered that fact. She had been wondering the very same thing, but had no answer.

"I have no idea," She admitted, walking, talking and dragging two terrified third years and keeping an eye on the three fourth years who were trailing along beside, looking around at the scene wildly. It seemed that nobody was noticing the seven Hogwarts' students as they traveled toward the spotty old pub. Perhaps she should go look for the professors. Emmaline was more than capable of watching over the younger years, and James and Mary had made a few appearances in the past several minutes, grabbing a student or two and disapparating once more, to where she had no idea.

-:-

James half-dragged the fifth year Hufflepuff boy up the path to his family's manor house and shoved him through the front door, where his mother was taking each of the students to an elaborately shielded storage building through the back entrance of the home. "How many more, dear?" She questioned, weary; she had greeted him with mingled pleasant surprise and fear when he had appeared with Mary and the young Hogwarts student nearly an half-hour earlier. She was happy to see her only son and the pride of her life, but distressed at his appearance when he was supposed to be at school.

"I'm not sure," James admitted. "I've got to go back." He raised his wand.

"Be careful, James!" Mrs. Potter begged; she was old for a parent of a seventeen-year-old, and stress had aged her further, between having a son who participated in as many shenanigans as did James and brewing tensions in the Wizarding World.

"Love you, mum," James sent her his most charming, biggest smile, and was about to apparate once more when his father strode over to him, appearing out of nowhere.

"Where is Albus Dumbledore?"

"I don't know. A meeting, I heard."

"Of course, of course..." He turned to his wife, but before that James caught a fleeting look that told him his father was privy to more information than he led on. "I'm going to help, perhaps you should tell Andromeda and Ted? They can bring 'Dora here." She nodded and gave her only family a pained expression before steering the Hufflepuff toward the back door.

James turned to step out of the door, where he would be able to apparate, but his father put a wizened hand on his shoulder, stopping him. James turned back to face the older wizard just as a small bottle with a golden liquid zoomed into his hand. Of course, his father had a potion for everything. James fought to squash his feelings of annoyance and anxiety at being held back.

"What's that, dad? I really want to get back-"

"I know, son," Mr. Potter interrupted. "I cannot protect you as I once could, and I know I cannot stop you from going back to Hogsmeade; you wouldn't be a Potter if I could. But please take a couple of sips of this before you go, for me."

-:-

James couldn't find any of his friends by the time he returned to Hogsmeade, but his mind was clear in a way that it had never been before. It took him less than a minute to realize what his father had given him; Felix Felicis... James always knew of it, being the son of a famous potioneer, but had never drank it before. Mr. Potter had been insistent that it was not to be taken lightly, and that truly revealed the scope of the danger of this day. James took a deep breath, feeling bizarrely upbeat considering the present situation. Mary had taken the last of the younger years that they were able to locate to the Potter Mansion and his best friends as well as Lily were absolutely nowhere to be found, but he knew that Felix was going to help him find them. He wished desperately that he could take the potion out of his own body and transfer it to them, but decided that instead he would use it to help him protect them.

The streets were a picture of chaos, now that numerous Aurors had joined in the mix, and seemingly more Death Eaters had arrived as well. He spotted Dorcas Meadowes, a particularly talented witch and family friend of his parents, fighting off two Death Eaters at once. Just as she disabled one of them, a third materialized out of the air. James tore his eyes away; he needed to know that his friends were okay. He needed to know Lily was okay.

He tore off down a less populated section of the town, thinking that he would perhaps find a stray student who had been trying to hide. He found that all he could think of though was Lily - where had she gone? Was she all right?

He spun around at a sudden, deafening crack, followed by two pops. _What now?_

 _Ah, shit._

-:-

Flitwick was the most difficult to find. It was a bit like attempting to find a under-sized needle in a stack full of needles, but just as Lily was considering turning back to the Hog's Head, she noticed two Death Eaters dueling with... well, there had to be someone firing those charms. It wasn't long before one Death Eater apparated to another location, and the other had uncontrollable boils festering over every inch of his skin; he threw his wand and tore at his robes, writhing. Another Death Eater quickly replaced the pair, and Flitwick flicked his wand again. Lily bit her lip, wary of interrupting. It would cause more harm than good. She set off before the little professor could notice her.

McGonagall was much easier to find; every bench, each statue and any other inanimate object had risen to fight alongside as she fought off three separate Death Eaters. Lily wasn't sure if she should interrupt this fight, either; she hardly wanted to be the reason why the Deputy Headmistress lost her concentration in a duel, least of all one this potentially deadly.

However, her problem was solved when McGonagall herself caught sight of Lily. "I've sent word to the Headmaster - Get the students and yourself to safety!"

Lily nodded and took off once more.

-:-

Perhaps his face had once been handsome, but now was nothing more than a sallow mask pulled tightly over protruding bones. And his eyes were a most unnatural hue of red. James let his wand hand fall minutely; what could he, a seventh year student, possibly do to even delay the Dark Lord? Even with Felix's help. He wracked his brain wildly, knowing that it was imperative that he do just that. With Voldemort here, the entire town and perhaps even Hogwarts was at danger of being overtaken by Dark Lord and his followers. What was taking Professor Dumbledore so bloody long?

"Well, well. The last Potter!" Voldemort announced, letting out an inhuman cackle. James was only a little shocked that he was recognized. All of the Potters looked the same, anyway. He lifted his chin a fraction, but said nothing. James Potter would not go down without his pride. For a moment his mind wandered to the events of the past hour, thankful that he had remembered to tell his mum that he loved her. But had he remembered to tell his dad? How could he have possibly forgotten. And Lily… He swallowed hard as Voldemort took a few long steps forward, and when he was less than a foot away, took a hold of James' face with long cold fingers, lifting it even higher and squeezing it very tightly; James gazed unblinkingly into his crimson eyes, and smiled a sad half-smile. At first, it was forced and heavy with contempt, but then he realized how much this bothered the monster, and he allowed it to spread infectiously across his features. Voldemort pushed him away carelessly, before tilting his head slightly in a pose that looked perfectly unnatural on him.

"How bold - You see, I always value bravery… It would be a pity to spill such pure blood this fine day. Join me, James Potter, and you'll live like a _king_." Voldemort's voice had lowered to a hissing whisper, and James found that he couldn't draw his eyes from the unnaturally crimson ones before him. The words were barely computing in his mind. Had the 'Dark Lord' just asked for him to join him? James felt his confidence flowing back into him as his fear ebbed to the back of his mind. He felt Felix nudging him, emboldened.

"Er, funny you should offer, Mr... Voldemort? I appreciate the sentiment, you see, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to sleep on it. Why don't we continue this chat at another time? I'll fix you some tea." James knew that his words were not going to help him, but Felix was telling him to keep talking, it was going to be okay.

Voldemort was not amused. "My patience wears thin, Potter. Don't be a fool!" His eyes flashed and his face was twisting into a snarl.

"Alright, then, if you're going to be so impatient, I'm afraid I must kindly decline. You see, I don't pledge loyalty to twisted old Slytherins."

"Don't be brash, boy. You are yet young, but you'll come to see this is the new world order. I could teach you things you've _never_ even dared to dream of! With a talent like yours, you could be my protege!"

James lifted his chin, locking eyes with the bloodshot ones of the Dark Lord, but didn't say another word. Voldemort scowled, returning the Head Boy's gaze

"The opportunity has passed. It truly saddens me to spill pure blood, but we must do it this day. Kill the boy!" Voldemort commanded, turning to walk away as his two cronies approached, like hungry guard dogs who were relishing in having finally been released.

James took a deep breath, forcing himself not to close his eyes; he still gazed directly into the black depths of the Death Eater's mask, wondering for a moment who it was who was about to kill him. Had they met before? Were they related? He held his breath, though Felix was still cooing reassuredly in the back of his mind.

 _"Avada-"_

" _Confringo!_ " with a mind-numbing explosion, the Death Eater's wand detonated, knocking its owner clear across onto the cold ground where he lie motionless. James shook off his sudden awe-struck feeling of a renewed chance at life, and fired his own spell at the second Death Eater, stunning him. Voldemort let out a furious sound and spun around just as Lily caught up to James.

"How charming." He spat, as though the word left a foul taste in his mouth. "Perhaps the head girl is not so foolish as her male counterpart. My eyes and ears at Hogwarts have told me of the most clever witch in the school. Join me, Lily, and I shall spare you and Potter, who would be wise to follow your lead. I shall not extend this offer again!"

Lily stood stock still, struggling a bit to catch her breath and amazed that her body wasn't trembling with the fear that she felt constricting her lungs. She was appalled, however, at the words as they left the mouth of the Dark Lord. She inhaled, praying that her words would come as steadily as the air she had just breathed in.

"What have you done today to convince me that your side is indeed the best?" She asked, voice remaining calm despite the energy surging through her. Her breath had steadied slightly and she knew there had to be some way to buy them time, at the very least. In extending this offer, Voldemort offered as well the opportunity for some escape, perhaps. "What mercy have you shown as of now to gain my sympathies? Prove your leadership is admirable and perhaps you shall gain two servants." She had to force the words to leave her mouth as she remembered Rosier shoving his pale arm in front of her face.

"Quite the spirit, you have. First, you injure my friends," he hissed the word that sounded wrong coming from his thin and twisted lips. "Then, you begin to negotiate." He lifted his wand, mouth morphing into a pained expression that Lily supposed was meant to be a smile, but far more resembled a look of immense constipation. "I fear I've become tired of our little game. What is your answer?"

Lily dared not look away from Voldemort in order to reassure herself that James was still beside her, but she knew he was. James, who had been so good to her this year, and had obviously matured immensely in the last year. James, who clearly cared so much about her, and who she was now realizing she would die for if only it would save him. She looked down a moment, knowing her little plan of seeming to be interested in Voldemort's offer had failed, and worse, it had barely lasted a few moments.

"My answer is no. We'll never join you so long as any of us live."

James leapt in front of Lily the moment these words left here mouth, before she could object; heroic, sure, but ultimately useless if they were both to die regardless.

The timing could not have been more succinct, for it was at that precise moment that Albus Dumbledore decided to grace them with his presence, having apparated silently several metres behind the Dark Lord. James seized the opportunity, feeling intoxicated with mingled terror, love, and lucky potion.

"Has anybody ever told you you're one ugly motherfucker?" Before Lily managed to change her expression to match the absolute mortified terror she was experiencing, several things happened in quick succession; James leapt toward her, wrapping one arm around her as they careened toward the ground, very barely missing a green streak of magic. There was a large crack, and suddenly Lily couldn't breath; the air was being squeezed from her lungs and they had stopped falling mid-air. The pressure suddenly released, and the pair resumed their fall, landing with a soft thud on cool grass. James flung out his arms in order to keep from landing on Lily, who had flinched her eyes shut tightly. When she didn't feel the pressure of being crushed by the head boy, she opened her eyes. _I am alive_ , she thought in surprise, _we're both alive!_ She took a deep breath of what felt like fresh country air, and gazed up at James' hazel eyes, which were frighteningly close to her face. His glasses were askew and the expression on his face was impossible to read.

"I don't know whether to thank you, or to strangle you," Lily muttered, still a little more than shocked from what just happened. They had stood up to Voldemort, and lived to tell the tale. He would not like that at all.

"You could just kiss me," James grinned, clearly joking and hoping that Lily would understand, feeling Felix nudge him again, "I mean, we are rather close." Before she could get angry at him for such a comment, he pushed himself up onto his feet and held out his hand to help her up. Lily stared at it a moment before taking it and then brushing herself off a bit. "In all honesty, it I who should be thanking you," he added sincerely. Lily shrugged and stared at the ground, wondering where they were, but unable to focus on it, her brain was struggling to process the past hour - had they honestly just met face to face with Lord Voldemort, and made it through alive? They had, and it wasn't over. She sighed heavily.

"We have to go back," Lily said finally, miserably. She didn't particularly want to go back - it was like signing her own death warrant, and James'. But she knew it was their responsibility to protect the younger years - and she could hardly sit here in safety when they were still in danger!

James shook his head. "No way. Didn't you see Dumbledore arrive? He'll take care of it, but we're not going back to where Voldemort was. We almost were killed just now," he reminded her.

Lily shot him a deadly look. "I'm sure that you shouting expletives at him did not aid our case!" She snapped, suddenly irritated.

"I could hardly resist!" James defended. "We're both okay though, right? And the students are all safe, I think. Let's go see what's going on with them." He held out his hand tentatively, and Lily thought a moment before taking it. It felt warm and despite calluses from flying, quite soft and comforting. She realized then that she wanted nothing more than to kiss him. Not just because they'd just faced death together. James had just demonstrated how deeply he cared for her, he was handsome, loyal, intelligent and very brave. She had cared for him as well, deep down, for a while now. Why was she always pushing him away?

She took a deep breath, knowing she should do this while she was still filled with the adrenaline from the fight. She now knew that she or anyone else could die at any moment - in fact they almost had died - and she would have died not knowing what could have happened if only she admitted to herself her true feelings.

"What's wrong?" James asked, immediately dropping her hand; had he crossed the line again? Felix said no, but he tried not to let that on. Lily hadn't realized that she had stopped walking.

"James, I - this might be an odd time..." Lily felt her cheeks burning. James waited, not wanting to assume even though Felix told him this was the moment. It was finally happening. Maybe she was going into shock from what just transpired? _No, it wasn't that, but let her say it first!_

"I ... really ... like..." She sighed and cursed her own cowardice, forcing herself to make a move. She stood on her toes, and planted a small kiss on his cheek. _Ugh Lily! Since when am I so stupid around Potter? I can't believe I just kissed him on the cheek. How immature can I be?_

"Oh," James said slowly, finally accepting that Felix was right all along. After what had happened it did seem a strange time, but who was he to object? The only girl he had ever cared for liked him back! "Well, in that case ... I think you may have missed." He smiled widely and softly touched her cheek, pausing a moment to take in every detail of her scratched and dirty face before going in for a proper kiss. Lily wrapped an arm around his back, laying the other palm against his chest. She was kissing him back! He was blissfully ignorant for a few seconds of the Hogwarts students, his parents, the war - everything was perfect in this moment.

* * *

Hey, all! So sorry for another sort of lengthy break, but thank you all so much for sticking by and continuing to read! Please let me know your thoughts if you get this far! The reviews make my day so much brighter! Cheers!


	15. Brotherhood

**Last Chapter:**

"Oh," James said slowly, finally catching on. After what had happened it did seem a strange time, but who was he to object? The only girl he had ever cared for liked him back! "Well, in that case ... I think you may have missed." He smiled widely and softly touched her cheek, going in for a proper kiss, blissfully ignorant for a few seconds of his parents, the Hogwarts students, the war - everything was perfect in this moment.

* * *

Lily was poignantly aware of the slightly flushed tone of her cheeks as she followed James through the large double front doors which swung opened to reveal a vast, white marble foyer. She had managed to steady her breathing into a somewhat regular pattern as the pair walked down the winding drive which led to the home she now stood in. Mansion, more like, she wondered, feeling dazedly overwhelmed as here eyes passed over the gently curving staircase.

She barely had time to wonder where they were or what had even just happened before James took her hand, sending a shock through her body with the sudden touch. It wasn't a bad one, though, but rather a warm, tingling, and pleasant kind of shock. He led her though several large rooms before finally dropping her hand as they exited the large house through a glass door in the back. Lily could make out a small white shed which was barely visible through the large glistening forcefield of protective spells which surrounded it.

Just to the side of this, was a little old witch with salt and pepper hair, lost in concentration as she muttered what Lily could only imagine were long and complex spells. Small beams of light drifted from the tip of her wand, before striking the glistening protective shield with shocks of what looked like a small electrical storm.

"Mum!"

"Oh, James!" the little woman ceased her muttering immediately and gazed up at James, who had broken into a jog, engulfing the little lady in a bear hug. Lily remained a few paces behind, letting them have a moment. If he had been thinking in any way similar to the way she was just a few moments ago, he probably wasn't expecting to be able to ever see his mother again.

Lily gazed back up at the mansion they had just walked through. This _is his house_ **,** she marveled, a little overwhelmed by the wealth of it, though not particularly surprised. How could James have not turned out so arrogant and confident when he was raised as the prince of this castle?

A frigid November breeze snapped her out of her reverie and she shivered, teeth chattering. The adrenaline from the battle and, sweet Rowena, the kiss, was beginning to wear off and she realized that Mrs. Potter was now addressing her.

"Oh, my dear, you must be frozen! And after what's happened, please, come and I'll fetch you some warm cider." Lily smiled gratefully, and followed the Potters back into the large home. Mrs. Potter grabbed her son's elbow for balance as she teetered up the few stairs that led back into the house, "I'm so grateful that you are both okay. How is Sirius? And the other boys?"

James' face fell slightly, "I don't know," he admitted. "Where's dad?"

"He's with Ted, they're arranging for the safe transport of the students back to Hogwarts. Little 'Dora is here with Andromeda, back with the students, we will go say hello once you've warmed up a bit." She turned her warm gaze back onto Lily as they made their way to the kitchen, "You must be Lily - how wonderful to meet you, though it's a terrible circumstance," James' face turned scarlet that his mother had recognized Lily, no doubt from years of his talking about her. Lily hid her smile.

"it's so lovely to meet you as well, Mrs. Potter. Thank you for the cider."

-:-

Remus was never more invigorated than when he was dueling. He had been in the Hogwarts Dueling club led by Flitwick ever since it began in his fifth year, along with Sirius and James, who had dropped it this year in favor of his Head Boy duties. Though the formality of the sport was lost in this real life version of it, it still felt like a bit of sport to Remus. He countered a red jet of light from the masked man, and promptly shot back his own hex with a flourish, and the adrenaline coursed through his body, enlivening him. Peter, who was hopeless at dueling, remained at his side, every so often blocking a curse or shooting his own spell at a Death Eater. As a team, they were able to incapacitate two different Death Eaters before two more soon took their place. Remus fired a hex at the first one, ducking as it flew back in his direction with uncanny speed. Peter let out a squeak from beside him, and Remus glanced at his friend, knowing he needed to get the chubby boy out of this before he got hurt. Peter had never been much good at dueling. Indeed, he was quite dreadful, and didn't really have the stomach for it, either.

"Wormtail, we need to get you-"

Remus was cut off, as he and Peter were suddenly careening through the air along with the busted up pieces of what had once been a statue of one of Hogsmeade's founders and a pile of dust. In his distraction, Remus hadn't seen the green streak of light heading straight toward them, but luckily Professor McGonagall's statue soldier had, and sacrificed himself for the two students. Remus scrambled to his feet, reeling. Somehow, he had managed to keep his wand firmly in ironlike grip. He was barely aware of Peter, who was struggling and groaning several metres in the distance, or of a tall witch Remus didn't recognize who had taken his place in dueling the Death Eater who had almost killed him.

All of this was merely in the periphery for him because his gaze had caught a crumpled up form in the distance. Her dark hair was splayed across her colorless face, her arms clutching her wand at her stomach.

Mary Macdonald wasn't moving. Remus felt his heart racing in his ears, muffling the sounds of the struggle around him.

-:-

Sirius was blind with rage as he made his way through the corridors leading to the dungeons. He didn't notice the unusual quietness of the castle, or the group of first years he nearly trampled as he bee-lined for the staircase leading to the dungeons.

He could see only one thing, blazing before his vision: Regulus' dark eyes locked on his own, filled with terror at the note he had just read from his brother.

Finally he had reached the wall that he knew led to the Slytherin common room, and cursed under his breath, knowing he wouldn't be able to get in without the password.

"Evil?" He guessed, "Death Eater? Pureblood? Voldemort? OPEN UP, DAMMIT!" He shouted, about to whip his wand out to curse the hell out of the wall, but suddenly it opened, revealing a vaguely familiar girl, who despite probably having come out to see what all the noise was about, seemed to be rather startled by the enraged seventh year Gryffindor before her. She opened her mouth, probably about to express the confusion clear on her face, but Sirius cut across her.

"Where is Regulus?" He barked loudly, putting a hand on the side of the entrance in case she decided to try and shut him out. The girl's eyes widened, and suddenly Sirius recognized her. Susan Rivers was in Regulus' year, the daughter of a pureblood witch and her muggle-born husband. Most of that was hush-hush though, and he only knew about her from one of his batty old mother's tirades a few years ago.

"Don't just stand there gaping like the half-wit you are!" He snapped, furious at her open-mouthed confused expression. "Tell my brother to get his arse into this corridor!" The girl looked back into the common room, fidgeting uncomfortably.

"I'm not sure where he is - I think he's, er, studying, or-"

 _"Don't lie to me, Rivers_!" he growled, not sure if she was really lying or not. Perhaps if he wasn't mad with rage he would be ashamed of how he was clearly terrifying the girl. As it was, though, he couldn't care less.

"I'll see if he's here." Without another word, she pulled the entranceway shut as she shrunk back into the common room, almost catching Sirius' arm with the door as she did so. A few minutes passed, and Sirius paced, wondering if she would even look for Regulus at all. Finally, he sat down across the corridor, reflecting on the days events and trying to calm himself. After parting ways with Lily, he'd dueled with his cousin, Bellatrix. The psychotic bitch had managed to disarm him, before an Auror, Gideon - or perhaps it was Fabian - Well, one of the Prewetts - one that wasn't Molly, arrived, and immediately caught her attention. As Sirius had scrambled to get his wand again, Bellatrix had disapparated, surely frightened off. Soon there were others joining into the mix - Sirius recognized Frank Longbottom, who had graduated Hogwarts the year before and was training to be an Auror, as well as perhaps a dozen other Aurors - some familiar, others not. Finally, Dumbledore appeared, sending most of the remaining Death Eaters scattering.

Looking back only in order to see whether he was in the trajectory of a spell, Sirius had made his way to Honeydukes, which he was relieved to find empty. Within moments he was making his way through the passageway which led to Hogwarts.

A creak echoed through the corridor, snapping Sirius out of his reverie; Regulus stepped out of the common room, allowing the portrait to shut behind him.

Upon seeing Regulus' face as the younger boy exited the Slytherin common room, Sirius felt a renewed sense of fury. He flew to his feet and closed the space between himself and the younger Black in less than a few seconds.

"You slimy little git bastard!

For a moment, he considered pulling out his wand and cursing the other boy into the next century, but that would never be enough. Instead, he pulled back his arm and swung hard at his brother, his fist landing so solidly that blood spilled from Regulus' nose and a bruise began to form around his eyes within moments.

Sirius grabbed his still reeling brother by the shoulders and shoved him into the stone wall with all of his considerable strength. Regulus grimaced as something cracked, but Sirius was unrelenting. "You knew!" He shouted, shaking the younger boy as he spoke. "You _knew_ they were planning an attack, yet you said _nothing_!" He shook the boy again in emphasis.

Finally, Regulus managed to open his mouth. "I - I tried to keep you away from there. I didn't want -"

Sirius cut across him, "what you want doesn't matter, Regulus! If one single innocent person died today, I hope it tears you apart, because it is nobody's fault but your own! You understand, Regulus, this isn't a game - these are people's lives! One day you're going to be too far in over your head, brother, and when you are, it's going to be too bloody late!"

-:-

When he was absolutely sure that Regulus had gone, Sirius slid down the stone wall until he was seated, head in his hands. Hot tears spilled silently from his eyes as he remembered the childhood games he and Regulus had once played, how they had driven their already stark raving mother even more mad when they would run away from her and hide as she went after them.

Unwarranted, Sirius recalled the image of little Regulus - perhaps he was five, maybe six. He had left his door open a crack, and when Sirius passed by he heard racking sobs. He peered in through the crack to see Regulus' small form shaking with grief, and quickly pushed through the door, jumping onto the bed and putting an arm over his brother's back.

"Regulus, what's happened?" Sirius asked, but the other boy just shook his head, letting out a particularly loud cry and wiping his eyes furiously with his little hands. "Please Regulus?" Sirius prodded, leaning in closer to his brother. "You're making me sad, too." Regulus took several sharp breaths before he was able to calm himself enough to speak properly.

"M-mummy-" he gasped, but kept from sobbing again, "Mummy killed Arcle! She put him in a p-potion!" The last word came out as more of a wail than a word, and was again reduced to sobs, burying his head in Sirius' chest. Arcle was the family Kneazle, whom their Aunt Druella had given them a few years ago when her own Kneazle had a litter of Knittens. Ever since, Regulus had been quite attached to the clever little ugly thing, and Arcle slept in his room every night.

"I loved Arcle. W-why- why-" Sirius couldn't understand the other boy's words anymore, but he felt a lump in the back of his throat as his vision went blurry.

-:-

When Regulus finally made it to the Hospital Wing, Madame Pomfrey was in front of him before he was even able to look up - not that he was really able to see her through his two black eyes.

"What the heavens has happened to you?" The little witch asked, frantic.

Regulus tried to blink, and a shock of pain wracked his head. "I fell," he managed.

* * *

I was considering ending this book at the last chapter and fast forwarding time, but I realized I really wanted to continue this part of the story, so here we are!

Pretty please leave a review? Love and appreciate you all!


	16. Mistress Mary, Quite Contrary

**THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH, EVERYONE WHO IS LEAVING FEEDBACK. I appreciate you all very much, and it really keeps me motivated to write more! Hope you're all doing well and enjoy this next installment...**

 _ **Last Chapter:**_

 _When Regulus finally made it to the Hospital Wing, Madame Pomfrey was in front of him before he was even able to look up - not that he was really able to see her through his two black eyes._

 _"What the heavens has happened to you?" The little witch asked, frantic._

 _Regulus tried to blink, and a shock of pain wracked his head. "I fell," he managed._

* * *

Remus stopped his headlong dash several meters from Mary, sucking air in sharp gasps, though he wasn't sure if he was so out of breath from the exertion or from the growing, strangling anxiety that his friend was there, on the ground, unmoving. Standing directly in front of her, was Marlene McKinnon, a look of sheer madness in her eyes as she sparred viciously with a tall Death Eater. She slashed her wand wildly, shouting spells and curses that Remus hadn't even heard before, but the Death Eater countered each of them without undue difficulty. Remus stood very still, keenly aware that Marlene was acting akin to a angry bear mother whose cub had just been killed, and he wasn't stupid enough to cross her just yet.

Finally, blood burst from beneath the Death Eater's robes, and he stumbled backward, cursing wildly. Marlene whipped her wand again, and his mask dropped from his face, revealing a young wizard who Remus would later recognize as Travers. The wizard doubled over, seizing his bleeding wand arm, as Marlene lowered her wand a fraction, back straight as she sucked in deep breaths of air from the effort of the duel.

The Death Eater gazed up at her, sneering. "What's stopping you, cowardly girl?"

Marlene's lips seemed to be trying to form words, but no sound left them. " _Ahv_ -" She began, but stopped again. The Death Eater's gaze shifted to somewhere vaguely behind Remus, where a small group of Aurors had rounded up three unconscious Death Eaters. When Marlene turned to see what he was so enraptured by, he disappeared with a popping noise.

Ignoring Remus, Marlene dropped to Mary's side, gently shaking the other girl. "Mary! Mary, say something, please!" She began to shake Mary much more violently.

Finally, Remus made for the pair, but Marlene jumped up, still in her mummy bear mentality.

"No, no, no, no NO NO!" She shouted, pushing Remus away. He took hold of her arms gently, forcing himself to look into her wild blue eyes despite how difficult it was to do so.

"Shh, Marlene, shhh. Marlene, Marlene! Have you checked her-"

She slashed her wand, cutting him short, and Remus felt himself stumbling backwards, struggling to keep his footing, and shocked by the lashing out. Marlene turned on her heel and fell to Mary's side, picking up the other girl's head and cradling it in her lap.

"Oh, Mary, I'm so sorry, Mary! Please forgive me Mary, please, please, wake up-" She began to shake, unable to speak any more.

-:-

 _"Mistress Mary, Quite contrary…"_

She had to be dreaming. Or dying. Or dead. Everything was bright, and quiet, except for the voice.

 _"-How does your garden grow?"_ She was dead, surely, but why couldn't she see anything, or move? And this voice, this voice… something was familiar about it, could it be some angel come to get her and bring her to the afterlife? No, no, that can't be…

 _"With Silver Bells, And Cockle Shells,_

 _Sing Marigolds all in a row."_

Mary recognized the voice, and finally fought against the brightness, opening her eyes without seeing. The voice was unmistakeable. _Oh, Merlin, I've gone to hell!_

 _-:-_

 _"_ Oh, Sirius, please - you're making her fret," Lily's eyes had dark circles under them, and her brow had so many worry lines that it was no wonder that she was developing a splitting migraine headache. Sirius, who would usually only sing even more loudly upon being asked to stop, immediately shut his mouth, throwing an arm around Lily in a short but strong hug. Lily smiled up at him, though the corners of her lips twitched downward sadly, then she glanced up to the corner of the hospital wing, where a small strangled sounding wail had just come from Marlene McKinnon, as Remus rubbed her back comfortingly, his own face drawn and pale.

Lily looked back down at her best friend, who was writhing on the hospital wing bed, a cold sweat plastering her dark hair to her deathly pale face. She let out a string of mangled and unintelligible sounds, and Lily found that the lump in her stomach had moved into her throat. "Isn't there anything to do for her?" she questioned to nobody in particular, searching for Madame Pomfrey among the small crowd of adults. Each time Mary shook or spasmed, Lily felt a sharp pain of empathy in her bones. She took Mary's left hand in her own and squeezed it, hoping her friend could sense her presence if nothing else.

"What did Marlene say happened?" Sirius murmured in an undertone so that Marlene wouldn't hear, not that the other girl was paying attention in her hysteria. Lily bit her lip, feeling nauseous, and turned back to Sirius, who still had one arm around her. She noticed, for the first time, that the ends of his black hair seemed to be singed, as well as his once-white school shirt, which must have been on fire at one point to have reached its present condition. His tie was altogether missing, as well as his black school robes, and there was a matted bit of hair near his ear that most certainly was stained with blood. His gray eyes, however, were ever sparkling despite his otherwise grim appearance. Lily wondered briefly how awful must she look, and to think James had kissed her like this! Oh, she had to tell Mary what had happened. Mary would tease her endlessly, she knew, but instead of dreading it, she longed for her friend's remarks. _You were right, Mary, come on, please just get up. You were right, I'll even admit! Tease me for the next year, just please wake up!_

"Lily?" Sirius prodded gently, and Lily's eyes refocused.

"I'm sorry," she managed, "she won't say - she's in such a state. Remus said by the time he got to them, she was already like this."

-:-

James pushed through the door of Dumbledore's office, mind milling over what the Headmaster had just shared with him. Though James' parents had basically always treated him with the same kind of respect that they would an adult, it was somehow so much more significant to have been sitting opposite Albus Dumbledore, who spoke to him as an equal. It was humbling, but also unnerving.

"Mister Potter. It has been truly a delight to see you flourishing in the Head Boy position." Dumbledore had begun. For what was probably the first time in his life, James had not particularly relished in the attention he was receiving. Indeed, now, as he made his way through the corridors, James felt a certain glowing pride at the remark. As the words had left Dumbledore's mouth, however, he had felt more uncomfortable, as though there was some unsaid bit that should have preceded the compliment, such as 'despite years of misconduct and disrespectful behavior, Mister Potter…' he shook his head, letting his thoughts drift back to the rest of their conversation.

 _"_ Never before have I been more proud of my students as I am today," Dumbledore had said, his blue eyes grave behind his spectacles. James felt a surge of emotion at the Headmaster's words, but only nodded slowly, dropping his head a bit. He wondered if Dumbledore had heard the last thing that James had said to Voldemort before apparating away with Lily, but decided not to dwell on it. Dumbledore knew more than anyone, being the wise mentor he was, that a teenage boy was capable of saying anything in an emotional moment.

James put his hand in his pants pocket - he had abandoned his robes somewhere at his house in order to move more freely - and felt the old parchment paper that Dumbledore had given him. It was a list of names, of students who had fought for their school during this sudden attack, as well as a few other people who James had suggested. Dumbledore noted gravely that the time had come for the students to learn how to protect themselves and fight for the right to live in a world without fear. James was to approach each of these students personally, and see if they were interested in an extracurricular class taught by Dumbledore himself, as well as by different Aurors who had agreed to this, one or two times per week. For the students who agreed, James would procure a parchment to sign which would bind them to secrecy. This class, Dumbledore insisted, was designed to prepare them for survival in a world at war, and would _not_ be encouraging vigilantism. As Dumbledore had said those words, James had attempted to keep his facial expression looking as innocent as possible, as he was certain the comment was directed at him and his friends.

To anyone whose name was not on the list, the parchment would look like a blank scrap, but despite this James didn't dare take the parchment from his pocket. There were twelve names listed, all of them seventh years, and most of them Gryffindors, other than two Ravenclaws - Emmeline Vance and Benjy Fenwick - and a Hufflepuff, Dedalus Diggle. Of course there wasn't a single Slytherin name.

James removed his hand from his pocket, muttering a quick charm that would ensure that the parchment didn't fall out while he walked, and quickened his pace as he neared the Hospital Wing. Several Hogsmeade citizens had been injured, as well as a few Aurors, but only one Hogwarts student had gotten hurt. James pursed his lips tightly, mentally cursing himself for grabbing Mary's arm, bringing her to his home, making her feel responsible for something _he_ should have been doing. Why hadn't she stayed back at the Manor? Why had she returned to Hogsmeade as the struggle was waning? He bit the inside of his cheek until he could taste metallic blood, knowing he couldn't blame himself. If the situation was reversed, would he not have done the same thing?

As he neared the hospital wing, he slowed his pace again, feeling a bit sick to his stomach. He knew that Mary was hurt, but he didn't know how badly, or what she even would look like. What if he couldn't handle it? Images of Mary's mangled body flooded his mind, and he blinked hard, as though to force the vision out of his head. He had to contain his imagination and control his emotions. Lily was there, and surely even more upset than him - he couldn't break down in front of her!

He pushed all of these thoughts to the back of his mind and quickened his pace again, finally bursting through the hospital wing doors.

* * *

Gah, this was an emotional chapter for me. Particularly in the last couple of lines.

When I was 20 years old, my father was involved in a horrific car accident. My stepmother called me at 3AM to tell me he was at the hospital, and said it was really, really bad. I jumped out of bed, dressed, and ran out the door, not thinking about how the trains wouldn't start running for another two hours. I remember so clearly, to this day (almost 7 years later), what thoughts were going through my mind. I remember wondering what the extent of his injuries were, and if I would be able to handle it. I wanted so desperately to be there for him, even if he wasn't coherent (he wasn't), but I was terrified of what I would see. Thankfully, I was able to get through it, with a lot of family and friend support. Even more thankfully, he made a full recovery, though he lost several inches of one of his legs, broke many other bones, and had to have a total reconstruction of his nose. I'm so grateful that I still have him today, but I went back to that moment, the one between the train and the hospital, when I wrote these last couple of lines.

Anyway, I hope you're all well, and appreciate the continuing support. Sorry about the long monologue. If you get this far, as always, please leave a review! I appreciate you all very much =)


	17. Memories and Changes

_**Last Chapter:**_

 _As he neared the hospital wing, he slowed his pace again, feeling a bit sick to his stomach. He knew that Mary was hurt, but he didn't know how badly, or what she even would look like. What if he couldn't handle it? Images of Mary's mangled body flooded his mind, and he blinked hard, as though to force the vision out of his head. He had to contain his imagination and control his emotions. Lily was there, and surely even more upset than him - he couldn't break down in front of her!_

 _He pushed all of these thoughts to the back of his mind and quickened his pace again, finally bursting through the hospital wing doors._

* * *

 _She's sleeping. She's sleeping. She's sleeping!_ James repeated in his mind, a mantra. It wasn't a terribly difficult task, as it really did appear that Mary was simply sleeping. In fact, Sirius looked far worse for wear than Mary, who looked a bit like she'd washed up before simply falling into a fitful sleep. _She's only worn out, sleeping it off a bit,_ he told himself as he exchanged a look with Sirius, who had glanced back to see who was bursting into the Hospital wing, then scrambled over an empty bed in his haste to get to his friends.

He put a hand on Lily's shoulder, and she twitched, startled, but let out a long breath when she realized who it was. Her eyes, which were shining with unshed tears, were an unbelievable shade of emerald.

-:-

Mary thought she heard a voice again, was it Lily's? No, no… She was spinning into her own mind, falling… She started, looking around wildly. She was standing in Hogwarts, somewhere near the Ravenclaw tower. There was one other person there, a small Gryffindor girl with wavy dark hair. The girl turned around, and Mary gasped; she was staring at a younger version of herself. Young Mary was holding a pile of books, and looking a bit frazzled. She looked one way, then the other, and finally took off down a third corridor entirely. Old Mary trotted after herself, her curiosity piqued.

"Oy, Mary!" A vaguely familiar voice called, and old Mary quickened her pace through the corridor, wondering if the young boy was speaking to her, or - well, the other her.

"James!"

Mary stopped dead, shocked. This wasn't some sort of dream, this was a memory! Her eyes glazed over for a moment as she recalled her first real conversation with Sirius, Remus and Peter. She had already known James from their shared love of Quidditch, she was well into her second year by the time this had taken place. She shook her head, focusing again on the group before her.

"These are my best friends, Remus, Peter and Sirius," James was motioning to each boy in turn, but young Mary didn't need an introduction, she had known who they were immediately - though she hadn't really spoken to the boys, she had seen them around, and heard of their antics.

"Pleasure to meet you, fair lady," Sirius said with an extravagant bow.

Remus knocked him on the top of the head. "Excuse him," he added in an undertone, "His mum dropped him as a baby, poor dear, I'm afraid he's never been quite right since then."

Young Mary grinned, and Sirius huffed, "You know, Remus, when my mum dropped me, I didn't lose my sense of hearing."

"Yeah," James added with a lop-sided grin, "It's sharp as a _dog's_ , eh?" The Marauders all laughed (Peter a hair later than the rest) and Young Mary bit her lip to hide a smile at their contagious laughter even though she didn't really know what James had meant by that comment, and she felt herself being pulled away again, into the white abyss with the voices of her friends poking through. It was James talking again, but this time his voice was at least two octaves deeper, and she couldn't see him at all.

"Mary, you ought to wake up soon. The week after next we're playing Slytherin, we need our star seeker!"

-:-

Mary began to fret wildly again, and Lily moaned in empathy for her friend, jumping up from her seat with such swiftness that she knocked James, who had knelt down between her and Sirius, clear into Sirius' knee. James let out a muffled yelp and leapt to his feet, his eyes never leaving Lily, who was marching into Madame Pomfrey's office, where the woman was in deep conversation with, of all people, Professor Slughorn.

"Excuse me, Madame Pomfrey," she began, then nodded her head to Professor Slughorn, remembering her manners, "Professor."

Before she could continue, Slughorn interrupted her, "Oh my dear Miss Evans. This is terrible, terrible! I do hope you know that you can come to me anytime!" Lily gave him a very weak smile, but couldn't bring herself to make any more than that feeble attempt at manners in her present state. She felt a vague pang of guilt at having blown off the two or three Slug Club dinners that the professor had already arranged during the year, but pushed that thought back for later rumination.

"Thank you, Professor. Excuse me, but Madame Pomfrey, what is happening with Mary? She is very clearly distressed. Why is she still asleep? What has happened?"

Madame Pomfrey's scowled unhappily, "She has been very badly injured. What she needs is rest! There are much too many people here!" She hurried around Lily, heading back into the infirmary, and gasped at the growing number of students at Mary's bedside.

"Oh, leave her be! Everybody out!" She turned back to Lily, "Lily, my dear, you may stay for another hour, but then you must leave her to her rest!"

Lily felt her cheeks going red - this was not what she had intended for when she'd gone to get the head nurse. She'd only wanted Mary to get some more medical attention, and wasn't sure she wanted to be alone with Mary at this moment, when her friend was in this state. Remus and Marlene looked up at the clearly irritated Mrs. Pomfrey, and Sirius slowly inched out of his chair, sliding past James, who had gotten halfway between Mary's be and Mrs. Pomfrey's office before that very woman exploded out of the office doors.

Marlene wiped at her bloodshot eyes, and quickly darted past the rest of the group, pushing through the doors with unexpected strength. Remus and Sirius shared a look before tearing after her, both of them bursting through the double doors at the same time. James didn't move.

"Madame Pomfrey. Would it be alright if I stayed here for a bit as well, just until Lily leaves?" Madame Pomfrey scowled deeply, looking to where Mary was writhing fitfully on the bed. Suddenly, Mary was still again, and Pomfrey sighed.

"Oh I suppose, Potter. Only because you are the head students." She looked at a clock on the opposite wall, which not only had hands for the minutes and hours and seconds, but also had several shorter hands which pointed to things such as "Potion time for bed 3," and "Check up on bed 7!"

-:-

Mary felt herself fading, spinning again. Hogwarts was there again, somewhere below her - this time it was the Great Hall. There she was, next to the Marauders. And there was Lily, who still had the remnants of baby fat on her cheeks that had been gone now for at least a year or two, though it was difficult to tell because this Lily's face was twisted in fury as she pushed past a group of younger years on her way to the Gryffindor table, where the young Marauders were seated. Mary's hair was longer, and she too looked younger than she remembered from the last time she had looked into the mirror. Fascinated, she walked toward the Gyffindor table, trying to remember when this had taken place.

"Potter!" Lily looked at James just in time to see his hand fly to his hair, ruffling it up messier than it was before.

"I know you missed me Evans, but if you're going to reject me so much you shouldn't seem so obvious about it," He grinned lopsidedly. Sirius shook his head, raising his eyebrows but still smiling and Remus was pretending he couldn't hear them. Peter didn't have to pretend; he was utterly engrossed by his food.

"YOU - STUPID - BLOODY - ARROGANT - PRAT!" Lily Evans bellowed. Her dark red hair was down and shifted on her shoulders as she stomped up to him. Her green eyes seemed electrified with fury. It was obvious that she didn't notice that by now most of the Hufflepuff table as well as some of the Ravenclaws and Slytherins, were staring at her; Though it hadn't been an uncommon spectacle to see Lily Evans reaming at James Potter, it was certainly unusual for her to do it in the middle of the Great Hall during dinner, and so Mary remembered precisely when this had happened. It had been the end of their fifth year. Someone less familiar with this pair may have wondered what James could have possibly done to make Lily so infuriated. He had always been pretty normal when Lily wasn't around, and still was in that phase where he thought perhaps arrogance would impress her. Oh how long it had taken for him to realize how mistaken he was.

As it were, young James seemed relatively unfazed, and didn't move as she advanced toward him, except for to run a hand through his messy hair. "That was a lot of adjectives, Evans. I thought you normally phrased your sentences more eloquently." Old Mary giggled a bit, even though younger Mary seemed to have been able to manage something of a straight face. Luckily, nobody seemed to notice Old Mary's presence. Lily, on the other hand, was not amused. Her face grew more red, and for a moment it looked like she was going to smack him. There was a split second silence.

"Eloquent my arse! I know that you're behind all of those dungbombs in the fifth year girl's dormitories. Do you have any idea how long it took us to clean that up!" By this point her face was so red that it was clashing wildly with her fiery hair.

This is when the memory deviated from what had really happened. Mary remembered it quite clearly, really. He had eventually admitted in a kind of roundabout way that it _was_ indeed the Marauders who had been responsible for the incident, and proceeded to ask Lily out. Lily had stormed from the table, forgetting to eat, and Mary had smacked James lightly on the back of the head, muttering something about him being an enormous idiot, before grabbing a few biscuits and going after Lily.

That had been what had happened. Not this.

Lily's face softened, and she sat down next to James. "Thank you … I - I don't know what I would have done if you'd left."

James smiled, putting his hand on Lily's, and suddenly the rest of the Great hall was fading away, the other Gryffindor students disappearing one by one. "Lils, I'm not going anywhere." The room was completely white now again. It was like it had been before, when she had been alone, but this time she felt more comfortable, because there was a table, and James and Lily seemed to realize she was there, now.

"Oh, Mary… You were right, I'm sorry!" Mary blinked a few times, and slowly walked over to the table. She sat down gingerly, happy that Lily and James seemed to see her now, but confused about where she was. Before she had a chance to respond to Lily's odd comment, James interrupted again.

"I just talked to Dumbledore…" he lowered his voice substantially, glancing around the empty space around them. "He wants to start a group, to train us for what might come in the future…"

-:-

The walk back to the heads' dormitories was silent. Lily and James were both drifting in their own thoughts, tethered to reality at the warm point at which their inter-clasped hands touched. Lily was trying not to think of her best friend, all alone in the Hospital Wing, and instead focused her attention on what James had just relayed to her. James had shown her the list of twelve students he and the Headmaster had compiled. The list had composed of twelve names, all of them 7th Years, and most of them Gryffindors:

Black, Sirius - Gryffindor

Diggle, Dedalus - Hufflepuff

Prewett, Alice - Gryffindor

Evans, Lily - Gryffindor

Fenwick, Benjy - Ravenclaw

Meadowes, Dorcas- Gryffindor

Lupin, Remus - Gryffindor

Macdonald, Mary - Gryffindor

McKinnon, Marlene - Gryffindor

Pettigrew, Peter -Gryffindor

Potter, James - Gryffindor

Vance, Emmeline - Ravenclaw

James had also mentioned that some Aurors would be overseeing their training, including Frank Longbottom, who had just graduated Auror training, and Fabian and Gideon Prewett, who were renowned for their skills. Lily couldn't help but feel overwhelmed, thinking back to the small piece of parchment. Dumbledore must have been planning this already, she thought. _It must be really bad out there._ She felt her heart beating much more anxiously against her chest than it should be considering their leisurely pace, and then felt a squeeze on her hand.

"She's going to be okay, Lily. She just needs some rest - it's best we left her alone for a bit." James seemed to be trying to convince himself as much as Lily, who couldn't bring herself to respond. They walked the rest of the corridor in silence, arriving at the Heads' dormitory in minutes. James, sensing that Lily didn't want to talk anymore, kissed her on the top of her head.

"Goodnight, Lily - we'll go see her first thing tomorrow." He turned toward his room.

"Er…James?"

"Yes?"

"Could you - oh, nevermind. Goodnight James." Lily pursed her lips, knowing what she had wanted to say was silly and would probably come out weird. James was curious, though.

"What?" He prodded, voice gentle. "I can think of very few ways you could end that sentence that my answer wouldn't be "yes," Lily," he added, eager to reassure her.

"Erm, okay - well I was wondering… could you stay with me tonight? In my bed?" She asked, voice small. It _had_ sounded weird…

"Sorry?" He wasn't sure he could trust his senses. Had Lily Evans just asked him to _share her bed?_ Had he actually been murdered today and not realized? Because this _had_ to be heaven…

"Not to do _that!"_ Lily clarified quickly, cheeks reddening. "I just mean, to sleep. _Just_ sleep. Nevermind, I don't know what I'm saying. Everything is just getting to me, you know? I'll just-" She felt her cheeks reddening, but James smiled at how adorable she was. He couldn't even identify all the feelings jumping around in him. It was a mix of adoration, excitement, and protectiveness? It felt strange, and amazing at the same time. Later he would call it love - he was too afraid to call it that yet. At least not out loud. Not because he wasn't sure of his feelings, but because he was afraid of her reaction.

"Give me a minute to change - I am going to cuddle you _silly,_ Miss Lily."

* * *

Hi, all! I'm SO sorry for the delay! Life has been chaotic lately and I've had a little writer's block as well, which is part of the reason for a kind of fluffy not super plot driving chapter . But I hope you all enjoyed this latest installment at least, and please leave a review if you've gotten this far! They make my day and will definitely help with motivation to beat the writer's block! Thanks again to you all! 3


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